


Chef's Guide to Womanhood

by Cocoanillaberry



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Queer Themes, Sanji-centric, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:28:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cocoanillaberry/pseuds/Cocoanillaberry
Summary: The Switch-Switch Fruit was a dangerous thing indeed. Able to change the gender of anyone who had any intimacy with the fruit-eater. Of course Sanji fell prey to it, what else would you expect? Unfortunately, it complicates things. A LOT of things.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Vinsmoke Sanji, Nami/Roronoa Zoro/Monkey D. Luffy/Vinsmoke Sanji, Nami/Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 28
Kudos: 82





	1. The Transformation

Sanji hummed as he prepared breakfast, gracefully skating across the kitchen floor. He topped the strawberry cream cheese strudel he finished earlier with a vanilla-rum glaze before removing the savory ham and cheese strudel he made for that stupid, sweet-hating Marimo out of the oven. Bitterly, Sanji remembered his conversation with Zoro last night. 

_“I don’t want sugar infested desserts for breakfast,”_ Zoro told him in that condescending tone of his. The irritation he was overwhelmed by at that moment washed over him anew and he glared at his own creation, wondering why he didn’t just force that gorilla to eat whatever the fuck everyone else was eating. 

_Luffy may be an absurdly huge foodie, but at least_ **_he’s_ ** _always grateful and happy to eat what I make. I just wish Zoro was the same… He’s gonna destroy my “love cook” title at this rate._

He groaned indignantly. _Deep breathing,_ he reminded himself, quieting his anger despite knowing that once he made the breakfast announcement that dumbass Moss Head would come in and a fight would instantly break out anyway. _Think about the ladies and smile._

He spun on his heel extravagantly, striding confidently towards the door. Just before he could open it, a sleepy Nami pushed past him into the kitchen and mumbled something about wanting peach tea. 

_She’s so beautiful even when she’s just woken up! Ah, what a natural angel,_ he thought, enamored as usual with their navigator. She was the optimal tranquilizer for Sanji, somehow managing to sedate him without any effort on her part. 

“Of course, my dearest Nami-swan,” Sanji said, ever eager to please.

He poured her a fresh cup of tea, handing it to her in the same way a worshipper offers a tribute to their deity. She went to take the mug, and as her hand brushed Sanji’s, she met his eyes and choked on her own spit. The cup almost dropped, but Sanji narrowly caught it. His one visible eye settled on her face, wide and confused. 

“Sanji,” Nami said, rubbing her eyes and blinking several times. There was a long moment of silence, their eye-lock going unbroken the whole time, before Nami began bombarding him with questions. “You **are** Sanji, right? What the hell happened to you, and how? What’s wrong with you? Is this a prank? If so, it’s **not** funny!” 

She ran out of breath, her bewildered expression mirroring Sanji’s own. She gave him a brief appraisal, eyes scanning from head to toe, and she came to the conclusion that “they **look** real,” although he was utterly unsure of what she was referring to. He put the cup on the table, resting a hand on Nami’s shoulder. 

“What’s the matter, my love? Of course it’s me; your Prince Sanji! Are you not feeling well,” he asked worriedly, and for the first time that morning, he thought his voice sounded a bit higher than usual. 

_It must be because I’m so worried about my dearest Nami._

Before she could answer, the door flung open with an aggressive enthusiasm that could only be their idiotic captain. He had a sixth sense for when the food was ready. Even if he thought it wasn’t, he still had a habit of checking in to see if there was anything he could snatch from the fridge. 

Several generations of mayflies must have reached the end of their lifespans in the amount of time Luffy stood in the doorway. An eternity passed before he smiled that chaotic grin of his that always reached his eyes. “Sanji turned into a **woman** ,” he boomed, laughter punctuating each word. 

Then, with a hop and a skip, he was gone. With the same amount of fervor as he entered with, he made himself disappear, giving neither Sanji nor Nami the time to respond. A muted murmur passed from Sanji’s parted lips.

“I… I what?” 

He brought his hand to his chin absentmindedly in thought. _My goatee is still there, but I still can't shake this mounting anxiety._

There was only one way to confirm the situation. He slid his hands (his nails suddenly looked a bit longer and more oval-like in shape) down to his chest. _Plump and soft._

Now he knew that there was undoubtedly no mistake. His stomach was still flat and sculpted, and he questioned the likelihood of suffering from a **severe** case of gynecomastia completely out of the blue. He gave himself a couple squeezes, and his extremely unsubtle groping seemed to shake Nami out of her trance. 

“Stop it, you idiot,” she yelled, his unfiltered obscenity making her embarrassed. A swift thwack atop his head still didn’t stop him, and she found that she couldn’t stop her eyes being drawn to his boobs. She blushed and looked away, grumbling, “How the **_hell_ ** did this happen?”

Sanji stopped rubbing himself but didn’t bother to move his hands. “Um...”

He recalled the event that occurred on the island they departed from just yesterday:

_It was a full moon and under it he spotted a beautiful woman with kinky auburn hair, cinnamon skin and large doe eyes. Of course, it wasn’t long after he had laid eyes on her that he had abandoned his trek back to his ship and decided instead to flirt with her._

_He complimented her on her curves and was pleasantly surprised when she kissed him on the cheek despite her obvious disinterest. Still reeling from being shown even the slightest bit of attention from such an attractive lady, his brain didn’t process the words she said next, with an irritated frown._

_“Listen up Loverboy,” she said, rubbing her temples in frustration. “Firstly: Your persistence is honestly unnerving. If a woman doesn't want to accept your offer, please respect that. Secondly: I ate the Switch-Switch Fruit. Starting tomorrow, your gender will be switched for a week. It won’t hurt, at least not physically, but maybe you’ll learn how to put yourself in a woman's shoes.”_

Sanji knew he couldn’t talk his way out of this one. A guilty eye silently pleaded to Nami.

“I was flirting and got kissed by a girl who said she ate a devil fruit that changes the gender of whoever she kisses for a week… Sorry,” he mumbled. 

Nami didn’t hesitate to slap him, and he instantly forgot his shame, grabbing his face with reverence and thanking her in his usual fashion. 

“Sanji, you shit-for-brains! This could actually be super serious! I’m getting Robin and Chopper!” 

She stormed out angrily, leaving him alone with his new body, freshly made food, and her tea. His instinct told him this was definitely going to be one of the most absolutely stressful weeks of his entire life.

* * *

“You seem fine, but… do you feel any different? Any pain anywhere," Chopper asked, putting away his tiny stethoscope and jotting down some notes. Sanji shook his head and obediently continued to answer Chopper’s inquiries despite how awkward he felt being the subject of analysis.

Near the end of the examination, Robin entered the med-bay, pulling a chair up to sit nearby the bed. In her hands was a absurdly hefty tome, and from it she read:

“‘The Switch-Switch Fruit changes the gender of anyone who has sexual relations with the person who ate the fruit. Depending on the extent of the act, effects can last from a few days to a couple months. Doesn’t have any lasting negative effects. Cannot be undone with a repeat of the same act, although this can lower the time until change-back.’” 

_A couple months…_

Sanji couldn’t imagine being a girl for several months. That would mean the inevitable: menstruation. His stomach hurt from just fathoming the idea. 

_What a terrifying power,_ he thought. _Must be how Iva tortures their enemies. After all, you could play serious mind games with someone if you have a power like that._

Chopper’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. 

“Sanji, you’re real lucky you’re still healthy and only stuck like this for a week! I’m still gonna have to monitor you because your hormones are already starting to plummet and skyrocket all over the place,” he paused, knowing full well that Sanji wasn’t listening. “That means be careful, okay?” His tiny hooves tapped the table in worry.

“Yeah, yeah, Chopper, I get it,” Sanji said dismissively, waving his hand as if shooing a fly. He lit a smoke, his lips pouting around the roll of tobacco. 

He was more concerned about how his hand-tailored suit suddenly felt uncomfortable. It was loose and tight in all the wrong places. He fidgeted, catching the attention of the Straw Hats’ doctor, to whom he mumbled “it’s nothing; just a bit uncomfortable,” before proceeding with glaring at his newfound and quite literal weight on his chest.

Unable to handle the compression, he started undoing the buttons of his dress-shirt only to realize that no amount of freedom he afforded to his boobs would make his shirt wearable unless he took the damn things out. This presented a slight dilemma and Sanji wondered if maybe he should just do it. 

If he was staying in the med bay for a while, no problem; Chopper was a doctor and Robin was a woman herself. And should he go back to the kitchen, he was confident that an apron would cover more than enough. As if on cue, Nami came in, carrying a small waterproof purse and a towel, and called out to him.

“Sanji, here,” she beckoned as if he was a dog. A slim finger pointed at the floor and like any loyal canine, Sanji leapt out of his seat to sit there. “I’m gonna lend you an outfit but first things first; you’re taking a bath before I’m letting you into any of my clothes.”

Saying no more, she promptly left, presumably expecting Sanji to follow her.

“Oh,” he stood up and cried, wrapping his arms around himself and swinging his hips from side to side. “My Nami-swan is so sweet and considerate!” 

He pranced after her eagerly with almost his entire chest exposed, luckily going unnoticed by his other crewmates, who weren’t anywhere near the med-bay entrance. Chopper called after him, but knew he was already long gone. He sighed, wondering why his crewmates were always getting themselves in such messes. 

Robin sensed his sentiment and laughed. “Let’s see what Sanji-kun plans to do next,” was all she said, sounding akin to a spectator of a chess match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just noticed I didn't leave notes for this chapter lol. If you liked it, rejoice, bc the entirety of this thing is abt 20k words! That being said, it'll take me a couple days to upload it all (formatting on ao3 can be difficult sometimes).


	2. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji simultaneously loses his goatee and a little bit of his dignity, but he makes some gains too.

_She isn’t really planning on making me do this is she? That harsh gaze of hers is so alluring even when she’s forcing me to do something I don’t want to but… b-but-_

_“_ N-Nami-san, my angel, please!! I-I really don’t want to-“

“Shave it. Right now,” Nami said, pushing the shaving cream into Sanji’s hands and folding her arms.

Resolution was etched into her features, eyebrows drawn together and eyes determined. She sat on the left area of the bathroom countertop, fingertips tapping demandingly on the granite counter as she stared down Sanji and firmly held her ground. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Put in front of a mirror and coerced into shaving his precious facial hair, Sanji used his few seconds of respite to look at himself and see if it was really true that he had turned into a woman. 

_It doesn’t look like too much of my face changed. Well, I suppose the unfortunate truth of the matter is that I’ve always been effeminate. I guess turning into a woman isn’t even that much of a difference, huh?_

Longer eyelashes framed his eyes, complementing his sharper cheekbones. Along with the ever-so-slight color that tinged his cheeks, his pouty lips added a more dramatic splash of color to his face. Following the line of his now less pronounced jawbones, he reached his goatee and mustache, which were soon to be gone.

Nami explained that it was punishment, because he needed to learn self-control. And she was right. He **definitely** did need self-control. For his sake and the sake of others.

After all, this happened because he was too persistent, and not only did many women find that creepy, but it also led to his current predicament. He **absolutely** didn't want to make women uncomfortable or make the crew worry about him getting into irreversible situations. So, although it made him sad, he understood why Nami wanted him to do it.

He groaned and returned to his assigned task. In one hand, he held a razor blade and in the other, the shaving cream Nami forced onto him.

“My goatee that I’ve been growing for so long,” he whined, steeling his nerves by repeating his mantra of _for everyone's sake, but especially Nami-san's,_ in his head.

Applying the cream on his face and crying, he worked quickly, shaving his facial hair before he could regret obeying what his queen decreed. When the deed was finally done, he slumped down on his knees only to hear another order from Nami.

“Come on, get in the shower. You're gonna shave your legs and armpits too.”

He almost felt tempted to beg her again, but he knew full well that it wouldn’t get him anywhere. In a rare streak of kindness, Nami pet his head. She ran her well-manicured nails through his soft blond locks of hair, calming him down after only a couple strokes. When it seemed like he regained a bit of his dignity, she repeated her command.

Begrudgingly, he submitted to her will and stood up. It was at this moment that Sanji noticed that Nami didn’t move from her seat. He sensed a foreboding atmosphere overtake the bathroom, and he was scared to hear her response to the inquiry he was about to make. 

“Am I... supposed to… shower while you’re in here, my sweet Nami-swan?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged, leaning back against the wall indifferently. “And be quick about it, ‘cause we’re shaving your pubes too.” 

Sanji thought he would faint. “I can do that myself,” he sputtered, convincing no one. He turned his back to her, looking first at the shower, then at the floor. 

_This is unbelievably embarrassing… Why's Nami-san so invested? I’m grateful that she’s being so doting but it’s only for a week! I-I’m… a_ **_man_** _. Most men don’t shave their legs_ _or_ _do stuff like that_ _…_

Sanji could feel the weight of an impatient gaze on him, so he didn’t argue any further and decided it was best to do as instructed. Reluctantly, he started undressing.

* * *

Nami leaned forward, watching Sanji take off his clothes, his blush reaching all the way to his ears. Something about his utter defenseless made her heart pound viciously in her chest, so much so that it almost hurt. 

Her veins seemed to pump her heated blood to everywhere except her brain. She knew, she most definitely **knew** , that this probably wasn’t a good idea but she couldn’t stop herself. Sanji all bashful and in such a vulnerable situation was just far too stimulating.

Once Chopper said that Sanji was safe, the only factor holding her back, that is, her concern for his condition, was thus dealt with and she committed wholeheartedly to her plan. Since he wanted to be so foolish, Nami felt it was only natural to punish him a bit. 

_If his frivolousness knows no bounds then I suppose it’s up to me to teach him a lesson,_ she thought, knowing that her sadistic side was showing. That being said, she was **way** too far gone at this point. Her amber eyes ate up the scene of him stripping with much of the same eagerness that Luffy ate his meals with. There was no way she was stopping now.

First was his blazer, then, undoing the last remaining buttons on his dress-shirt, he shimmed out of the garment, letting it fall softly to the floor. The full exposure of his chest drew Nami’s captivated eyes to the scene, unable to tear themselves away from the meal before her.

 _They have such a nice shape,_ she blushed, the palms of her hands burning with the urge to grab and touch. _A nice size too. Definitely smaller than mine, but they’re damn perfect either way. He’s at least packing a D-Cup._ _And_ **_wow_** _, that pale skin of his really makes his perky, pink nipples stand out. It’s kinda… sexy._

Maybe he could read her mind, because he brought an arm up to cover his nipples, hugging his boobs tight as if for reassurance. With one hand, he unbuckled his belt, urgently unzipping himself and getting out of his well-pressed pants. His boxers promptly followed suit.

She couldn’t help but be disappointed at the speed of which he completed his stripping. There was something so seductive about boxers on a woman’s body. 

He rushed into the shower, obviously flustered with his new position in Nami’s spotlight. Being ignored or brushed off was something he was much more used to, after all. When the shower curtain closed behind him, Nami huffed in disappointment and propped herself back up against the wall.

Still, he was way too easy to tease. All you had to do was show him some of the attention he was so starved for and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. And his adorable reactions always made it worth it.

She twirled and braided her hair while she waited for the cook to finish. She was doodling on the smoke covered mirror when the water stopped and a hesitant voice piped up. 

“N-Nami-san... I-I’ve finished,” Sanji said, and Nami took a moment to really appreciate how weird this all was. He sounded similar to Robin in the sense of having that really beautiful voice that's both deep **and** velvety.

 _Of course, that begging tone is still so distinctively Sanji,_ she thought. When she didn’t reply, he peeked out from behind the curtain. Nami smiled sweetly and beckoned him over with her finger, wanting to get a good look at him.

Meekly, Sanji stepped out, water dripping off of him and onto the bathroom mat. He hung his head, using his bangs to hide his face. His skin was slightly flushed from the heat of the water, and he held his towel securely to his chest. Nami’s breath got caught in her throat, and she released a deep exhale. 

_He’s way too lewd,_ she thought, realizing that if she wasn’t careful, she was gonna get too worked up. She stood up, making Sanji jump and look up at her. She closed the distance between them, putting her hand on his lower back. 

Slowly, Nami slid her hand down, roughly grabbing him when she reached his ass. She pulled him closer to her body, her skirt riding up from pushing her hips against his.

A timid hand rubbed Nami’s exposed stomach in protest, her tube-top not giving Sanji much to grab. Her skin burned from his touch, spurring her to gently dig her nails into his skin, making light marks. When he gasped and tightened his grip on his towel, she whispered in his ear.

“Sanji, be a good boy for me, okay?” 

She bit his ear and the aroma of argan oil from his shampoo flooded her senses. Nosing at his nape, her other hand found its spot in his hair again, soft strands displaced by her fiddling fingers. Massaging his scalp, she waited patiently for his reply, wanting to hear him assent. It didn’t take long for him to tremble, blissfully crumbling under her resolve.

She smiled when he muttered, “A-anything for my dearest Nami-swan.”

* * *

Releasing her prey with a slap on the ass, Nami put a finger on Sanji’s thigh, tracing a line up to the edge of his towel. Antsy eyes watched her lift his cover ever-so-slightly. “Sit on the shower bench and spread ‘em,” she told him. Although somewhat abashed, he did as he was told. 

Now only able to hide his breasts, Sanji sat, quite literally, on the edge of his seat as Nami wedged herself between his parted legs, her purse placed beside her. She unzipped it and pulled out a pair of beautician’s scissors. Noticing Sanji’s anxiety, she leaned forward, planting a kiss on his stomach. 

“Relax, Sanji,” she said against his skin, rubbing his thigh with her free hand. “I would never hurt my pretty little cook, okay?” 

_Pretty,_ Sanji thought, his head reeling a bit. _I may have a female body right now, but I’m still a man. I’d prefer that Nami-san would call me handsome,_ is what he thought, but he couldn’t deny that his heart skipped a beat when she flattered him like that.

Delicate fingers handled the scissors deftly, making quick work of the trimming requisite required for a smooth shave job. The silence of the bathroom allowed Sanji plenty of time to think, and he came to the conclusion that if it was possible, he would like to cease to exist.

 _I think I’m finally ready to die,_ he thought, his humiliation likely what made him so delirious. _Here I am, an idiot who let my gender get forcibly changed, and my lovely Nami-san is kind enough to help me get myself together. Shameful can’t even begin to describe how I feel. I don’t just think I’m_ **_ready_ ** _to die, I think I_ **_want_ ** _to die._ He couldn’t even hide his face in his hands unless he was okay with risking further exposure.

His introspection was cut short by Nami, who had casually taken to scrubbing an exfoliant on him. At this point, he knew he shouldn’t be shocked by every little thing she did to him, but he couldn’t seem to calm himself while she was doing this. Nami stood abruptly, pulling over the detachable showerhead and spraying it on Sanji, the rush of cold water on him making his knees jerk with shock. 

“I’m almost done Sanji, but I need you to hold still for this part or I could end up cutting you.”

Sanji nodded vigorously, knowing that Nami might reward him if he satisfied her expectations as the “good boy” she wanted him to be.

Nami applied the shaving cream and went right to work. Each glide of the razor on his skin and the subsequent sound of running water made Sanji’s heart drop with terror. His apprehension peaked when the blade ran across his outer labia, and while it was done in the blink of an eye, his fear didn’t dissipate until she was finally done. 

With one last rinse, all the tension Sanji’s muscles had been harboring released as he exhaled one long breath. Silently, she placed her stuff on the shower shelf and hooked the showerhead back on its holder.

“Dry yourself off and I’ll help you apply moisturizer,” she said, waiting for him to finish. There was a lengthy pause as he diligently completed her most recent instructions. 

“Are we almost done, Nami-san,” Sanji asked quietly, wrapping his towel back around himself and trailing after her, one of her hands already on the door handle and the other on the light switch. 

“Yeah.”

* * *

Zoro’s bleary eye cracked open a fraction of a hair, the warmth of the sun still a blanket good enough to deter him from waking fully. From his lounge spot on the quarter deck, he could make out the blurry image of a lemon colored head of hair following a tangerine colored one. Knowing it must be the cook and the navigator and finding himself uninterested, he simply went back to sleep. 

* * *

“Holy shit, I’m in Nami-swan’s room! **On her bed** ,” Sanji cooed shamelessly. “I’m so blessed!” 

Feeling surprisingly refreshed and thus, back in his default state of adoration, Sanji rolled around on Nami’s bed while she pointedly ignored him. She was shifting and sorting through skirt after skirt, dress after dress, searching for the perfect outfit to compliment him. 

Even though he was exhausted from everything that happened today, his misery seemed to come to an end a minute ago, when Nami considered her job done after giving him a relatively unpleasant full-body massage. Now he was caught between fawning over the fact he was in her bed and passing out from mental exertion. It was still plenty bright outside, but he felt an encroaching wave of sleep tugging at him. 

**_Damn_** _, I love her so much,_ he thought tiredly, happy despite being told that it was her intent to punish him. He had somehow instead decided to accept it as her pampering him. 

With heavy eyelids, he listened to her continuous grumbling as she cycled between “definitely not this,” “no, not quite,” “hmm, maybe,” etcetera. A chill hit him since he had no clothes on, so he pulled her blankets over himself and before he knew it, he had nodded off, taking a brief but much deserved nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is prolly my least favorite bc it made me feel sooo awkward. I don't really see shaving as a sexual thing, but idk I just kinda ended up writing it anyway. Maybe it was bc a really good manga I read made it seem like an appealing scene. Regardless, I hope it was enjoyable enough for others. Also, ik the description of the bathroom doesn't match the Sunny's actual layout. Please forgive me T.T


	3. Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro had to complicate everything. Including what should've been a peaceful afternoon of making lunch.

When Sanji entered the kitchen, it was quiet. **Too** **quiet**. Besides his echoing heels, the only noise was tiny conversations from the crew.

Small talk was happening between Nami and Usopp. Brook was singing softly, his music giving the room a comfortable ambiance. Franky was drawing plans for something that Sanji couldn’t discern, but looked like some sort of giant mecha-hamster.

Suspicious of the stillness, Sanji surveyed the room, confirming his hunch that Luffy wasn’t there yet, but oddly enough, neither was Zoro. Robin and Chopper sat on the same bench, looking at different books that both pertained to the subject of Sanji’s condition. Neither paid him any mind. 

Usopp spared a glance but as a firm believer in danger-avoidance, he didn’t dare look for any longer than that. Brook asked to see his panties and was, of course, shot down. Upon Brook acknowledging Sanji’s change, Franky looked up to see for himself.

“Woah, **super**! Did you go cyborg too, bro? Chest guns,” he asked, sounding like it was a genuine question.

Sanji rolled his eyes, but he legitimately couldn’t tell whether or not it was an actual inquiry. “Of course not. It’s because of someone's devil fruit power.” 

Sanji sighed, but still saw this situation as a stroke of luck. He used this tranquility to peacefully begin lunch. His shoulders slumped in relief as he greased a pan, and he hoped desperately to get the food made and get out before either Luffy or Zoro came in. 

He muttered a curse when the door clicked open and Zoro roamed in. They made eye contact and the room went deathly silent. Usopp held his breath and Chopper covered his little ears. 

“When,” Zoro started, looking truly bewildered for once. “Did you have the time to get a sex-change?” 

Sanji gritted his teeth, “ **That’s** the question you chose to ask,” he grumbled. “Not how, not why, but **when**?”

Zoro shrugged, seemingly remembering what he came here for, his surprise having already worn off. “I’m not confused about the ‘how’ or ‘why.’ You wanted a sex-change so you got one? That’s pretty obvious. I’m confused about how you found the time to do it.” 

Sanji’s temper flared, and the shouting match began. “ **Obvious**? Did I honestly **look** like I wanted a sex-change!? Of course I didn’t!” 

Zoro’s confusion resurfaced, now seasoned heavily with rage. He shook his head and crossed his arms, not in the mood for this.

“What the fuck? How would I know? I didn’t know that people have to 'look' a certain way to want to have a sex-change. And **why** would **I** care whether you got one or not,” he spat, glaring at Sanji before rolling his eye.

 _Always making a big deal out of nothing,_ Zoro thought. “Fucking shit, it’s not that big a deal.”

 _He’s such an insensitive dick,_ Sanji thought, suddenly feeling painfully aware of how quickly he became accustomed to this new body. A hot blush burned his face, and he felt a shock wave of embarrassment shake his resolve. He couldn’t tell if he fucking hated Zoro’s guts or admired him. He honestly thought it might be a bit of both.

 **Everything** about Zoro made Sanji feel insecure about his own masculinity. Zoro was damn near exactly what Sanji saw as the ideal man, albeit uncourteous to women. Being face-to-face with such a close embodiment to what Sanji felt like he could never be always made him feel he had to compensate for his naturally effeminate features. So, their relationship was essentially doomed from the start.

_This is probably how he always sees me anyway. He wouldn’t be the first to refuse to recognize me as a man. I’m honestly shocked he noticed anything at all… it’s not like he’s ever been interested in anything that concerns me unless it’s something that annoys him. Which is pretty much everything about me. Even then, I still don't get the luxury of interest. Instead, it's more like disgust._

“It **is** a big deal,” Sanji hissed, getting dizzy with his own anger. “I. Am. A. **Man**! I **never** wanted to be like this! Ugh, of course you don’t think it’s a big deal, you stupid asshole!”

His knees were starting to feel weak from his torrid emotions; normally he and Zoro didn’t even bother talking this much if they were having an argument and Sanji was ill-prepared for the impact that Zoro’s honesty had on him.

“What are you trying to get at? I was just **asking** , for fuck’s sake!” Zoro was getting more irritable with each word that slipped past Sanji’s lips, and, as if she had sensed the bursting of a dam, Nami tried to break up the fight. 

“Stop it, you two,” she yelled, neither of them even bothering to look away from each other to listen to her.

The rest of the crew seemed to be getting antsy as well. They knew this fight was different than usual but were unsure if they should intervene. Mostly out of concern and a little bit out of fear, they silently and unanimously decided to leave it to Nami for now.

“Would you guys **please** just give it a rest,” she begged to no avail. She noticed an adjustment in Sanji’s and Zoro’s stances, both preparing for a fight. 

“You always resort to a fight, don’t you,” Zoro taunted, one hand on the hilt of a sword, ready to parry Sanji’s oncoming kicks. He shifted his weight onto his back foot, casual stance not at all indicative of his ferocity.

“Seriously, bros, there’s no need to fight,” Franky chimed in, his usually relaxed tone worried. He was confident in his ability to break them up if it got any more serious, but he knew it wasn't his place to interfere any more than he already was.

“Yeah, come on, Zoro. Put the sword away,” Usopp said meekly, equally as terrified of them attacking each other with no holds barred as he was of getting caught in the crossfire. 

_No,_ Zoro thought, _the power of Sanji’s kicks if he decides to go all out will kill me. I can’t afford to underestimate him regardless of his anatomy. Even if his aggravation makes him sloppy, I’ll be dead if I let my guard down. I’ll make the call once I see how he’s moving._

Zoro’s willingness to draw his blade only fueled Sanji’s hostility. “You’re a **real** dipshit, you know that!? Proving you respect me in battle **isn’t** the same as proving that you respect me as a man," Sanji hissed.

Nami watched with apprehension as Sanji attacked Zoro. She began to completely despair when she noticed that his inexperience with heels that high gave Zoro the upper hand.

“Sanji,” she cried, even the loud bang of her hands on the table not drawing his attention. “You’re not--“ before she could even finish her sentence, what she was trying to warn him about came to fruition. 

Zoro had a vice grip on Sanji’s ankle, and everyone in the room watched as all the blood drained from his face as he stared in disbelief at the sight under Sanji’s skirt. Their altercation ended right then.

Zoro stuttered, unable to form a cohesive sentence. It was one of those very, **very** rare moments when something left him completely speechless. “I, um,” he gulped, a steady stream of blood starting to drip from his nose. “You… You aren’t…”

“...Wearing underwear,” Nami whispered in defeat, sliding back into her seat and covering her face with her hands.

“Yohohoho, I didn’t even know Zoro could get nosebleeds,” Brook whispered to Usopp. Usopp nodded furiously, quite surprised himself.

The two fighters were frozen in shock until Sanji’s brain, a bit belatedly, finished processing his situation. His whole body shuddered with horror and a shrill scream reverberated throughout the entire ship. 

“You fucking Moss-Headed **pervert**!”

A frying pan hit Zoro so hard that Chopper flew out of his seat, rushing over to the swordsman who had released Sanji and was now on the floor groaning in pain. “How… am **I** the pervert,” he asked Chopper, who felt around his head looking for bumps and told him that he should really just stop talking. 

Once Zoro had let go, Sanji lost his balance, falling to the ground. He gripped his skirt and squeezed his legs together, his visible eye staring at Zoro, wide with sheer terror.

“He saw it,” he breathed, his whole body quaking with mortification. His entire face was beet red, and he ran a shaky hand through his hair. “He **saw** it. I can’t believe this. I...” 

He trailed off. 

_Should I hit him again to make sure he forgets it? …No, he already looks half-dead._

Sanji’s attention quickly zeroed in on Usopp and he asked in a threateningly low voice, “You didn’t see anything, did you?” Usopp frantically shook his head ‘no.’ It was true that he didn’t, but even if he did, he wouldn’t tell Sanji, seeing what just happened to Zoro. 

He then turned to Brook, who was mumbling about how unfair it was that Zoro was allowed to gaze at the beauty under Sanji’s skirt, but he wasn’t. Since that proved he was in the clear, he proceeded onto his last interrogatee. 

Sensing danger, Franky quickly shook his head, his pompadour bouncing. His huge hands waved vigorously. “Nothin’ to worry about, Cook-bro! I didn’t see a thing!” 

Sanji took their words for it, and settled on not giving them the beating of a lifetime. He looked at the limp body, _possibly a corpse_ , he mused, on the ground. The first mate looked like he was barely holding onto his consciousness, his head bleeding from the force of Sanji’s blow.

Not particularly worried about Zoro's current condition, Sanji stood up, his shaky legs barely holding him, and gently placed the frying pan back on the counter. Then, with the worst timing imaginable, Luffy skipped into the kitchen, chanting his mantra of “Sanji, food!”

He stopped in the doorway. He took one look at Zoro and Chopper, one look at Sanji, and laughed. “What happened,” he chuckled, unconcerned by his bleeding friend. 

He leaned over Zoro and, like a sprinter passing the baton to his teammate right before passing out, Zoro mumbled, “The cook’s not wearing any underwear.” 

When Chopper saw the look of pure rage and embarrassment that flashed across Sanji’s face, he immediately went Heavy-Point, quickly scooping up Zoro. He slurred together something about “him needing treatment,” and urged a much grateful Usopp and a concerned Robin to come with him.

Luffy watched them go, giggling all the while. “They’re so funny,” he grinned.

The door closed behind them, and Luffy’s one-track mind took a while to choose between seeing what Zoro was talking about or going back to his perpetual food hunt. He chose the former. He didn’t go unnoticed by Sanji though, and a heel quickly met his cheek as he crawled on the floor, trying to get a good look.

Shadows provided by his skirt guarded what was left of Sanji's dignity. Sanji figured that Luffy wouldn't be able to make out too much, so he didn't get nearly as violent as he did with Zoro, who saw everything. Still, he dug his heel into his captain’s face, yelling at him to go sit down or else he was going to gouge his eyes out. 

“But **Sanji** , I wanna see too,” Luffy wiggled in vain, face smushed against the cold kitchen floor. 

“Go sit down or you’re not getting any lunch,” Sanji said, knowing full well that if Luffy came to him asking for food, he’d feed him anyway. He lifted his heel off his face, watching as Luffy scrambled to sit down and obey Sanji's commands to avoid making him anymore upset. 

Nami not-so-subtly sighed, Brook asked Luffy if he saw Sanji’s panties or lack thereof and if so, to describe the scene, and Franky decided now was a great moment to take his leave. Somehow, Sanji managed to finish lunch without any more incidents. 

* * *

“Island-ho,” Usopp’s voice rang, slightly muted from Sanji’s hideout in the men's barracks. He nuzzled deeper into his blanket cocoon, desperately hoping everything would somehow vanish from the memories of his crewmates. He was startled when the door opened and amber eyes peered in. 

“Can we talk?”

“Sure thing, my dear,” Sanji said, sounding and looking tired. His shoulders slouched horribly, and he didn’t even seem to have energy to give her his usual beaming smile, offering in its place a very tiny, weary one.

Nami came in, a distinct jingling resounding as each shoe made contact with the floor. She sat on the hammock-bed beside him. “When we get to the next island, you and Zoro are gonna do the shopping.”

When he opened his mouth to argue, she lifted her hand. “You guys have some stuff you need to sort out… Do you understand?”

He groaned, but agreed. He couldn’t really fight Zoro in heels anyway, so it really would be in his best interest to make up with him. 

“Good,” she said, and in one smooth movement, wrapped something around his neck and locked it. It was about an inch wide, baby blue in color.

Sanji looked down. He was stuck in a French ribbon dog collar, with a thick, heart-shaped padlock in the middle. A tiny ring hung off the padlock, and three different colored dog tags were attached. 

The teal one said his name on the front and “Please return to any member of the Straw Hat Pirates if found” on the back. The second, a lilac purple, cationed, “Do **not** pet. Will bite.” Lastly, a pale yellow tag explained that “Any harm done to this pet will result in crippling debt and possible death at the hands of the owner(s).” 

“Nami-san, what…?” He looked at her, his hair disheveled from the battle he just finished.

His curly eyebrow took a shape similar to that of a toy slide, drawn together with befuddlement. His cheeks were still red, as if the blood that had rushed to his face earlier had yet to find its way back to wherever else in his body it belonged. _Now he truly looks like a cute little puppy,_ Nami found herself thinking.

“I had Franky make it a while ago,” she said, petting his chin, watching as he helplessly leaned into her touch. “It’s cute, isn’t it? The jingling will also help Zoro locate you when he gets lost.”

“I suppose so, but why do **I** have to wear it? **I'll** probably be the one locating **him**.”

He glowered at the tags with a look of complete and utter disdain. Nami livened up, trying to make her energy contagious with the hopes of making him like it more. 

“So this way you can keep your eyes on the prize! After all, since I have the key, you’re not getting rid of it until I say so and I won’t say so unless you make up with Zoro.”

Sanji supposed he could accept this logic. “In that case, does Zoro have one too,” he asked, and she replied with a guilty smile. 

“Well, no, not exactly.” She waved her hands when Sanji looked disappointed and slightly peeved. “He’s barbaric so he’d just cut or rip it off and it would be a waste of perfectly good materials, so I’ll be counting on you to do some teamwork with him to get yourself out of this predicament! Good luck,” she said, rushing back out. 

Briefly, Sanji wondered if Zoro was even okay enough to go shopping today, but then he remembered it was Zoro he was thinking about, so he had probably recovered a few minutes after the whole incident. 

_I do feel bad… and_ **_fuck_** _, I know I need to apologize but still… this is still gonna suck._

* * *

Zoro sat with his arms crossed, irritated, listening to Chopper’s little voice try to explain things in the least anger-inducing way he possibly could. 

“Nami wants you and Sanji to go shopping when we reach the next island.” His big, cute doe eyes failed to ease Zoro’s displeasure. Robin didn’t make it any better when she added, “Which is in approximately 15 minutes.” 

This information was **not** well received. “Why should I,” Zoro growled, tapping on the small bandage on his temple. “He **hit** me with a fucking **frying pan**! Because we got in a fight over **nothing**!” 

Zoro still wasn’t sure what got Sanji so livid but he sure as hell knew why he was mad. _I can understand him getting upset about me seeing…_ He paused, the image of Sanji completely exposed under those tight, suggestive clothes making his brain short-circuit. 

_Man,_ he thought, losing his train of thought. He pondered how much, exactly, of an awful idea it really was to try and make Sanji angry enough to slip up again. _I want to see it again. His face afterwards, what did it look like? For once, I felt like I got to get close to something that Sanji probably gives to Luffy and Nami so willingly._

When he felt Usopp and Chopper's eyes on him, he redirected his attention back to the discussion. Unfortunately, the first thing he said was an accidental vocalization of his thoughts. “Why does he hate me so much?”

Chopper looked down, lacking the answer Zoro was searching for. Robin took the chance to speak.

“I’m no psychologist,” she said, blue eyes glued to her book. “But the cook seems to struggle with his sense of identity. Especially more so now that he’s trapped in a woman’s body.”

There was a soft thump of old pages reuniting with another before she finally looked up at Zoro. “I’m sure you noticed that you’re the only one the cook fights with day in and day out.”

“Yeah, what of it,” Zoro asked, frowning. She was just reinforcing the point he made earlier about being hated. With a somber shrug he said, “He just... doesn’t like me.”

He let his body fall back onto the bed, putting his hands behind his head and suddenly finding a spot on the ceiling to be of great interest. _It doesn’t matter how much I love him,_ he thought bitterly. _He’s so obvious with his constant fawning over Nami; he doesn’t treat any woman, let alone any_ **_man_** _, the same as her. Then there’s Luffy too._

_Sanji’s always letting him wrap his arms around his waist, happy to let his captain hold him, even if he’s getting in the way. There’s an undeniable joy he finds in serving him. He can complain all he wants but his face always lights up when Luffy eats his food._

_I can’t even blame him either. Nami’s intelligent, capable,_ **_and_ ** _gorgeous. And Luffy’s almost like a fucking cosmic force, who just drags you in and doesn’t let go. I get it, I really do, but fuck, would it kill him to be less obvious?_

 _Even everyone else on the crew gets to experience his kindness. But me? I can’t even speak or_ **_look_ ** _at him without making him pissed off._

Robin hummed. “I don’t think he hates you, Zoro-kun. Didn’t you hear what he told you,” she inquired, watching as Zoro recalled Sanji telling him just moments prior that being respected in a fight isn’t the same as being respected as a man.

“To you, Zoro-kun, acknowledging someone during a battle is all it takes. But that’s not quite what Sanji-kun is looking for. You understand, don’t you?”

Zoro rubbed his face and groaned. “Yeah,” he said, seeming bothered. He got up and left without another word. The door closed softly behind him.

“Um, I’m not sure **I** understand,” Chopper said, looking at Robin, waiting for her to explain.

“Yeah, me neither,” Usopp added. “And he still didn’t seem like he was in a talking mood. Are you sure everything’s gonna be okay, Robin?”

She smiled at them. “Don’t worry about it. He and Sanji-kun should be fine by the end of the night.” 

* * *

“Sanji, you hold onto the money,” Nami said, plopping a wallet full of berries in his hand. Zoro already stood on the dock, waiting with crossed arms. Pleading eyes looked down at Sanji and Nami whispered quietly, “ **Please** make up with him. It’s hard seeing you two so disconnected from each other.” 

“I’m sorry, Nami-swan. We’ll fix it soon, I swear.” With that, Sanji and Zoro were off, heading to the seaside town. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun w this scene; I love the idea of a blushing Zoro or him having a nosebleed. My headcanon has always been that Sanji always fights w him bc of being insecure in his own identity or something of the sort. That's really all for this chapter. Hope everyone is staying safe!! Remember to take care of yourselves, both physically n mentally!


	4. Shopping and Interrogations Go Hand-in-Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although awkward, and not very elegant, Zoro and Sanji try to make up. They also met two women at the lingerie shop Nami recommended, one of which is rather pushy about asking questions that Sanji's not about to disclose.

For a while, the duo walked side by side, so close that Sanji could feel the heat of Zoro’s body beside him. _We need to talk_ , he thought desperately, but he couldn’t find the words to start the conversation.

He lit a cigarette, running a hand through his hair. Agonizing minutes of silence passed, the near metronomic tapping of Sanji’s heels on the pavement the only noise until Zoro’s voice rang clear in the air. 

“You know,” he said, glancing over at Sanji. “I’ve never thought of you as less of a man for anything you’ve ever done.” He had to turn around to face Sanji when the cook suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Sanji took a long puff from his cigarette, chuckling hoarsely. “Ah, you stupid fuck,” he said, glaring weakly. “I don’t want your half-assed acknowledgement.” 

He resumed strolling and Zoro did the same. The conversation met its end just as quickly as it started. Eventually, Zoro resurrected it. 

“I mean it, though. I haven’t. I think you just feel like I have because you’re hyper-fixated on ‘being’ or ‘acting’ like a ‘real man,’” he mumbled, tilting his head up to look at the sky, the vibrancy of the afternoon hues painting his face. “You’re always going on about ‘manliness.’ It gives you an extremely exploitable weak point.”

 _I know but just knowing doesn’t change this feeling that’s been brewing in my heart for so long. I’ve always been different from Zeff and all the other chefs,_ he thought, reminiscing on his time on the Baratie. 

_Sure, I’m strong but have I really become a son that old man can show off? Long eyelashes, pouty lips, silky hair… Are these_ **_really_ ** _the features of a man? Not to mention, how would he feel if he knew his adoptive son has had feelings for men before? That he secretly likes being called pretty just as much as he likes being called handsome?_

 _Zoro,_ he thought, looking at the robust swordsman. _I bet he’s never felt this way. He’s exactly what parents want in a son. Exactly what ladies want in a man._

The silent shopping trip continued.

Sanji spoke with each shop owner, checking items off the list as he bought them, handing them to Zoro to carry, all without any words being passed between the two. The sun was beginning to set as they reached the end of the list which was, of course, panties. There was even a specific chain boutique that Nami said could probably be found on this island, too. And now here they were, right in front of it. 

_We’re nearing the end of this trip and I’ve barely spoken to him… It’s now or never_ , Sanji thought. He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and unloaded all his thoughts with rapid speed. Zoro, who wasn’t expecting to hear Sanji open himself up much, was completely caught off-guard when Sanji hit him with an utter bombshell.

“I like men,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the shopping list so he didn’t have to look at Zoro. _More specifically, I like you and Luffy._

As if he regretted admitting this, he quickly added, “Not as much as I like women but still. I lack muscle mass and have a pretty face. I’ve been called a ‘femboy’ more times than I can count on my hands.” He took a deep, shaky puff from his cigarette. 

He had no clue what the hell he was doing. Now even the sunset seemed too bright and he wanted to shy away, but he knew he had already said too much. His chest felt tight and his heart weak. A horrible migraine was coming on, and he was jittery with the urgent need to finish this trip and retreat to his bed to hide under his blankets. 

Zoro didn’t respond, sending a shockwave of self-reproach to wash over Sanji anew. Nausea made his stomach twist violently and he swore if he didn’t steady his emotions he was gonna hurl. _I fucked it up,_ Sanji thought, immense panic rendering him speechless. 

_I’m so_ **_fucking_ ** _stupid… What the_ **_fuck_ ** _did I think was gonna happen? Why, why,_ ** _why_ ** _did I even say anything?  
_

 _And now what? What’s he gonna say now that he knows? Will he tell the rest of the crew, making it impossible for me to return unless I’m willing to suffer unprecedented humiliation? I’m sure that even the old man wouldn’t accept me if he knew, so_ **_what the fuck_ ** _made me confide in_ **_him_ ** _of all people?_

Sanji scoffed, asking through gritted teeth, “ **So** , you wanna try repeating that phony shit about ‘not seeing me as less of a man?’ It’s not that I think a man is some muscle-brained Marimo like **you** , it’s just that no matter **what** a ‘man’ is, **I** can’t possibly fit the bill.” 

Zoro put the backpack full of groceries he was carrying on the floor, then roughly grabbed Sanji by the waist, making him stumble over his heels. The sheer excitement of being able to feel Zoro’s breath on his neck made Sanji tremble and his anger dissipate significantly. 

_I bet he wasn’t even listening,_ Sanji thought, letting himself lean in and hold onto Zoro’s shoulders. _But since it’s just this once, I’ll just say I was having trouble steadying myself if he asks why I’m still holding on,_ his guilty conscience supplied, knowing that Zoro likely hadn’t meant the gesture in any romantic way.

Sanji looked up, examining Zoro's face like an eager scientist examines one of their favorite specimens. From his sharp jawline to the shape of his eyebrows, he found himself thinking for the upteenth time how handsome Zoro was. After admiring his every feature, Sanji found himself struggling to identify the gleam in his eyes.

It felt like a bus had hit him when he realized that Zoro looked exceedingly **elated**. Immediately, Sanji’s face started to burn with embarrassment.

 _The least I could do for myself is try to maintain_ **_some_ ** _of my dignity, but I just happily fell into his arms like a fucking fool._

“Y-You must think this is pretty fucking funny, huh,” he said, watery eyes threatening to cry. He shook his head and pushed against Zoro’s chest but the swordsman wouldn’t loosen his vice-like grip. “Let me **go** already, Zoro. I bet you’re thinking about how much fucking **fun** it will be to tease the stupid fucking naïve, curly-browed queer now that you know.”

“Look at me, Sanji,” Zoro said, his voice sweet like syrup. A wary Sanji obeyed, and Zoro gave him a tiny smile. “You’re our irreplaceable chef, who **everyone** on the ship looks up to. Especially Chopper and Usopp, and you know how much they want to seem ‘manly,’ too.” 

Zoro’s kindness made Sanji anxious but it also made his guard melt, like a stray, hurting dog hesitantly accepting someone's help. 

“We all have things that haunt us, but if nothing else, you have us to help you work past it.”

Zoro hugged Sanji tightly, and rested his head on his shoulder. “And you know we could never reject you. Although it might be more accurate to say we’ll always accept you for everything you are,” he said, exhaling slowly like a weight was off his chest just as much as one was off Sanji’s. 

Sanji let himself be embraced, too weak to kick up a fuss and not even really wanting to now anyway. _“Could never reject me,” huh? I guess even Zoro can be really persuasive when he wants to._

Eventually, Sanji began to chuckle quietly. His laugh was light and airy, like freshly baked bread and Zoro was starving for it. He pulled the placated blond closer, hands pressed firmly on his lower back. When Sanji was done laughing he sighed. All his energy seeming sapped, his body slumped lazily against Zoro. 

_He's so stupid but still, what would I do without him? How is it that he can so easily say something so sweet despite that aloof demeanor of his? Ugh, I wanna kiss this idiot… No, I shouldn’t. I’m happy enough with this._

“Of course you guys couldn’t. You would **never** wake up, Luffy would starve to death, and Nami would be without her sweet Sanji. The whole crew would be utterly heart-broken." 

“Yeah, yeah,” Zoro replied, sarcasm ineffectual at disguising his relief. He kept Sanji trapped in his arms despite knowing the conversation was over. He almost couldn’t bring himself to let go. 

Sanji’s hands moved from Zoro’s chest to his back, closing even more of the gap between them. Soft boobs pressed against Zoro, prompting the swordsman to slide his hands farther down Sanji’s back, dangerously close to his butt. The timing was awful but Zoro was no idiot; he knew that this was a chance that he probably wasn’t ever going to get again.

 _He’ll definitely kill me if I touch his butt_ , Zoro thought, _but I wonder how much I can get away with._

Still drunk on having the happy and docile cook in his arms, Zoro decided to press his luck and test the waters. He shifted, leaning back against the wall for support and tugging Sanji along with him. He began to rub small circles on Sanji’s lower back.

“Mm,” Sanji moaned quietly, attempting to get closer to Zoro despite the inability for them to be any closer than they already were. He rubbed his cheek against Zoro’s shoulder like a cat does to a person’s leg.

“Stop… **whatever** it is you’re doing with your hands,” he grumbled, fisting at Zoro’s _haramaki_. His resistance was extremely weak, and it was evident he had no actual intention of making Zoro stop.

Zoro ignored the order, and like butter Sanji melted, his complaints eventually reduced to tiny moans and shy pleads. He arched his back slightly, attempting to indicate to Zoro that he wanted more pressure behind the gentle carrasses he was receiving. 

“Harder,” he gasped, and Zoro thought if he sounded this good with a half-assed massage, then he must sound **great** during sex. Each breath tickled Zoro’s ear, the cold exhales like a freezing gust of wind against his heated skin. 

The cook’s sultry voice made trying to form basic thoughts feel like he was swimming across the whole Grand Line, so Zoro just stopped thinking altogether, mindlessly complying with every little craving Sanji verbalized. Pleased, Sanji trembled in his arms, hands inching up Zoro’s back to cling to his shoulder blades. He was coming more and more undone with each passing minute. 

_Do massages always feel this good? Is it because of all the kitchen work? I mean, I know it can be a little rough on my back sometimes but still, this is… a bit much._

Eventually, Sanji gave up questioning why Zoro’s touch made him feel so lightheaded. He settled on figuring it out later since the likelihood of him getting a decent massage anytime soon was extremely improbable. Wanting to make the most out of Zoro’s sudden change of heart, he began using compliments as fuel to encourage him to continue. 

“Feels good,” he mumbled approvingly. “A lot less painful than when Nami-san does it.” 

Zoro hummed, proud that he could compete with Nami at something that solicited Sanji’s affection. “Marimo,” Sanji said, nosing at the area right behind Zoro’s ear. The swordsman didn’t reply, but Sanji didn’t seem to be looking for a response. 

“More,” he ordered despite knowing that they had to hurry and finish shopping soon. “Just… a little more. Then we’ll take care of the last thing on the list and head back,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Zoro. So, they stayed like that for as long as time would allow. 

Their moment came to an abrupt end when Sanji’s whole body went rigid and a woman’s voice pierced the air, saying, “ **Oh** … Oh dear! I’m **so** sorry!! I really didn’t mean to interrupt!” 

* * *

The boutique’s ceiling had a huge dome-shaped indent and an enormous candle chandelier hanging in the middle of it. Along with the fragments of light from the large arched windows, the chandelier illuminated the place with a gorgeous apricot hue. The refractions glistened off the rose-filled glass vases that sat atop white coffee tables.

Zoro stared at the fixture, wondering how much work it was to go and light each of those thin white candles each time they opened the shop. Sanji was in front of him, speaking to two women at the front desk. 

The lady who had stepped outside on her break and saw Zoro and Sanji had long, thick chestnut hair, styled with braids and tied into a ponytail. Her black diaphanous crop top put her crimson bra on full display, and she complimented it with a pair of red plaid skinny jeans. Ever the prey to his vice, Sanji immediately put out his cigarette and took up the pretty lady’s offer when she had invited them in.

A darker woman with large curly pigtails sat next to her behind the counter, sleeping quietly in a lavish chair. She wore a cerulean lingerie top, with a matching pair of satin shorts. Her dog slippers rested comfortably on the marble countertop. 

The woman in red, Rayne, addressed Sanji with a bouncy and eager energy akin to that of their captain’s. “You’re super lucky,” she said, her smile so large that her pearly whites almost blinded him. “We normally get really busy around this time but it looks like we can focus all on you, sweetheart!” 

She grabbed his hand, and Zoro thought that with an attitude like that she must be one hell of a saleswoman. After all, Sanji fell hook, line, and sinker for her seemingly genuine enthusiasm.

“ **Wow** … You’re stunning **and** considerate,” he said, hearts in his eyes. Zoro, on the other hand, was already bored and started to meander toward the door. 

“ **Awe** , thanks,” she said, blushing. She rummaged through a drawer and came out from behind the counter with measuring tape. “About your boyfriend,” she said, eyes following Zoro, who was ready to leave with all of the Straw Hats’ groceries on his back. “He’s allowed to come into the dressing room with you if you’re okay with it.” 

Sanji’s cheeks lit up like red LEDs and he shook his head frantically. “Oh, no, no, **no**! He’s **not** my boyfriend,” he told her bashfully. He faced Zoro, shooing him like a fly.

“Go outside and sleep on the floor or something, Marimo. Just don’t go wandering around,” he said, his attitude the polar opposite when addressing Zoro than it was when he spoke to Rayne.

The other woman woke up as if activated by the word “sleep.” In a daze she mumbled, “He can sleep in that chaise lounge near the dressing room.” 

Not caring whether or not he decided to take her offer, she grabbed some cashews, munching on them until the effort it took to chew got tedious and she went back to sleep. Zoro seemed pleased, willing to nap anywhere but always enjoying extra comfort. He pivoted, propping the enormous bag on the wall and putting his boots on the floor nearby, not wanting to ruin the upholstery. 

“Oh, if that sleeping beauty recommends it, then I suppose I can’t just send him to the streets,” Sanji said, knowing full well that Zoro was going to take her suggestion either way. 

Lounging comfortably, he heard Rayne inquiring about Sanji’s preferences. Eyelids already feeling heavy, Zoro made his opinions known even though Sanji was likely to ignore him.

"Pink,” he said, yawning and rolling on his side. “You look good in pink.” And with that, he promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Rayne looked at Zoro’s sleeping back, and then at Sanji, who was glaring daggers at his crew-mate. The chef looked like Zoro just read his diary aloud and he was **not** happy about it.

“Are you **sure** you’re not dating,” she asked, only to receive a slipper to the back of the head. She turned around, crocodile tears in her eyes. 

“Berry, I can’t believe you’d do this to me!” 

Berry stretched, resting her hands behind her head. “Stop calling me stupid nicknames in front of customers. It’s **Bel-a-ka-ne**. And quit hounding her about her personal life,” she said, and Rayne obliged. Belakane shot Sanji a thumbs-up and a wink, startling him given the disinterested impression she gave off.

“Sorry,” she said to him. “She’s a bit nosy.” She tugged on a curl, gently pulling it until it was straight, then letting it bounce back. “Oddly enough, most customers love her for it. Some people just like to talk about themselves, I guess. Personally, I don’t think she should pry, **especially** not about something that’s already been explained.”

A defeated Rayne focused back on Sanji. “Sorry, it just totally seemed like there’s something between you two. Anyway, you’ve never been to any of our other locations before, right?” 

_She’s sharp,_ he thought, not interested in a second interrogation. _If I kept telling her “no” she would’ve started asking me something else I’d probably prefer not to answer like whether or not I_ **_want_ ** _to be with him. If she asked me something like that what would I even tell her?_

_“Spot on! I think he’s stupidly attractive but we don’t really get along and he’s probably in love with my captain! If not the captain, then I’m sure he’d much prefer our sexy and talented navigator?”_

_…That would be an awful situation to get myself into._

“No, I haven’t,” Sanji said, glad that Belakane convinced Rayne to drop the matter. 

“Is that so,” Rayne asked, ushering him into the changing room. “Well, in that case, let’s talk business! All new customers get any set 25% off and if you buy two pairs of panties, you get two more free!” 

She closed the curtain and unfurled the measuring tape.

“So, what are you in for? Swimsuits? Pajamas,” she prodded. She paused before smiling mischievously and glancing at the curtain that Zoro was napping peacefully on the other side of. 

“Maybe… **Lingerie**?” 

Unable to take much more of Rayne’s continuous faux pas, Sanji hastily answered her. “Lingerie, but it’s not like **he** has anything to do with it.”

She giggled. “If you say so. Anyhoo, shirt off.” 

When Sanji looked confused, she clarified. “I have to measure,” she explained the common knowledge amongst women that Sanji was unaware of. “I'd be surprised if you've gone this long without ever measuring. You can leave your shirt on if you want.” 

“Oh, no, that's fine! I didn’t know since I’d just go up a cup or two every time I grew out of a size,” Sanji said, playing it off masterfully. “I never actually measured,” he laughed awkwardly.   
_  
Of course they have to measure them. I don't know why I didn't see that coming._

Believing him, she mumbled an “Oh, I see,” and then waited as he clumsily unzipped his bustier. When it dropped to the floor, Rayne let out a shocked little gasp. “ **So** ,” she dragged out the word, wrapping the measuring tape around his bust. “Where **did** all these scratches on your back come from?” 

A cold hand gently touched his skin, making him jump and flinch away from her touch. Sanji choked. _Nami-swan,_ he thought, remembering how she dug her nails into his back when he exited the shower. 

“U-um,” he stumbled over his words. “I-I honestly don’t know! Probably my pet cat?” 

”Oh,” she asked, her voice swelling with doubt. “And the collar?” She rerolled the measuring tape with eager eyes, confident in her intuition and hoping to hear Sanji’s affirmation. 

Coyly, he slid a finger under the ribbon. “Oh, this,” he said, in the same poorly disguised faux innocence as a salesperson who’s noticed your lingering gaze on an item. “Just an accessory to my outfit,” he mumbled. 

As if it was the nail in the coffin that he would continue to deny any assertions, she ceded, finally putting the investigation to rest. All further changing room interactions between her and Sanji were centered solely on the fitting.

* * *

“Thanks for your business and sorry about my partner,” Belakane said, counting the change while Rayne bagged Sanji’s stuff. He gave her an exhausted smile, and told her not to worry about it. As Rayne handed him the bag, she was smacked with the other dog slipper, the first one still on the floor near where Belakane threw it.

“Apologize,” she hissed and Rayne bowed deeply, apologizing for her rudeness. Again, Sanji said not to fret over it. He got ready to leave, thoroughly drained from the day’s events. He was stopped by Belakane, who said she forgot to warn him about something. 

“There’s this Marine colonel who thinks he’s hot stuff. He's normally on night patrol and has been committing battery against men and women alike. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, all reports are swept under the rug by the rest of the fleet so if he attacks you, you won’t get help from them.

We live upstairs so we haven’t met him but we know he’s got dark purple hair and wears it in a bun. That’s really all the info we've got. You and that swordsman can obviously fight, but you’re pirates, right? So if he catches you it could escalate horribly. Be careful.” 

There was a brief pause, and Belakane read the silence, answering Sanji's unspoken question.

“It’s just written all over you two. I could tell by the way you walk and talk.” She twisted a curl. “Not that we really care. You’re a paying customer, so it makes no difference to us. There’s no gain in us telling those Marines that you’re here. I really try to avoid dealing with them, honestly.”

Sanji thanked her, relieved he wouldn’t have to deal with the Marines knowing the Straw Hats were on this island unless he ran into that asshole, which was probably an unlikely meeting anyway. “I’ll be leaving then,” he said, hand on the steel doorknob. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something,” Rayne asked, gesturing towards Zoro, who was completely relaxed and snoring. 

“I can’t kick him awake right now, so l have to ask you two to let him nap a while longer. He’ll wake up if he senses anything amiss, so he should find his way back to the ship in a few moments after I’m gone.” 

Rayne chuckled and elbowed Belakane. “Hey, Berry,” she said, wrapping one of Belakane’s curls around her finger. “I should try that on you sometime and see if you can find me!” 

Rayne redacted her statement when she was ruthlessly smacked with a slipper for the third time by an unamused Belakane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, okay. So, I shortened the chapter count (and might have to again at some point) bc I combined a lot of the chapters together. Why? I'm not really sure lol it just felt right. Either way, I also really enjoyed making these two have a heart-to-heart. I feel like Sanji def was supported by the women in Kamabakka Kingdom, but he also needs his homies to support him too. Idk I'm just rambling now.


	5. The End of an Eventful Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Violence Warning)  
> On his way to the Sunny, Sanji gets attacked by the Marine the shopkeepers mentioned.

The dim street lights did little to nothing for Sanji, and he squinted as he slowly made his way down to the port. With each step, the tapping of his heels on pavement rang ominously loud in the quiet of the night. Unbothered, Sanji continued his walk and allowed himself a moment of introspection. 

_Zoro and I finally seem to have solidified a good rapport, but I wonder how long it will last. He was so gentle earlier… if he’s not careful, I might get the wrong idea. Maybe… just_ **_maybe_** _… we’ll be able to get closer even after we’re back on the ship._

He stopped suddenly. _Something’s wrong,_ he thought, scanning the area but unable to define any clear shapes. He knew he wasn’t imagining things, and his suspicions were confirmed when a handcuff snapped down on his left wrist.

Sanji was violently jerked backward, the rapid and aggressive movement breaking one of his stilettos, making him drop his bag and sending him stumbling. He knew instantly that it must be the Marine the shop owners were talking about, and he thrashed around, yelling.

“Could this day get **any** fucking **worse**!? Get your filthy fucking hands **off** me, you useless piece of fucking dog shit!” 

He was dragged into an alley, the wind getting knocked out of him as he was slammed against the wall. He gasped but still attempted to kick the man, who he could see clearly now, but his inability to rely on his heels robbed him of a clean blow. 

“A feisty one, aren’t ya,” the man asked, clamping the other half of the handcuffs on his right wrist and hoisting him a few inches off the floor with the chain link. 

Sanji tried to knee him in the stomach, but Lady Luck had certainly screwed him over. _Bullet-proof vest_ , he thought, assuming that the man must also be using armament _haki._ Westin gave him a grotesque leer.

“Come on, you **have** to know who I am. Colonel Westin, at your service. Surely you know that assaulting an officer is a crime.” 

Sanji spat on him. “ **Fuck off**! Of course I've heard about you; you're a fucking public menace! So, this is how the ‘strong and capable’ Marines treat the people of this island? You guys are always doing this shit! Attacking lone women at night? What the **fuck** is wrong with you?” 

_The Marines never change no matter where you go,_ Sanji thought bitterly. _I may be a pirate but at least I'm not human filth. I’m still in a tight spot, but if I was a normal civilian, this would be a whole lot worse._

With an unprecedented eeriness, Westin’s expression morphed from an unsettling grin to an equally ominous frown. His eyes alight with fury, he grabbed Sanji's hair hard enough to tear a few strands out. Still, Sanji refused to relent.   
  
"Pathetic," Sanji said, rolling his eyes and earning a punch in the face from doing so. 

“Shut up, you stupid bitch! I don’t need a talking punching bag,” he growled. “Unless… Do you **want** me to falsify some charges? Hell, I wouldn't even have to; you resisted arrest and you're probably just another prostitute anyway. Man, if I felt like it, **Ms. Hooker** , I could put your whole family in prison. Though I doubt you have any if you're out here walking the streets.”

Sanji decided that it actually might be best to stay quiet for now, so he glared at Westin, but said nothing. Admitting to not having connections to any of the island residents meant admitting that no one here would search for him, and would make the Colonel more likely kill him. That being said, if Sanji retorted again, that would also put his life in even more danger.

 _He's utterly disgusting; completely beyond redemption of any sort. Even if I_ **_was_ ** _a prostitute, who the fuck gave him the right to attack me like that!?_ _Unfortunately, my charges supersede something like selling sex. I can't let him know that or I'm in a much, much worse situation._

Sanji subtly looked around for a means of escape, but Westin noticed, and grabbed him by the throat, mumbling, “Don’t even **think** about doing anything or I will make your life a living hell.”

He let go and Sanji coughed, the heaving of his chest making his tags clank loudly. Westin saw the collar, and began reading the attached tags. 

“A Straw Hat pirate, huh? I bet you’re just their bitch that they all pass around,” he cackled. “Look here, it even says you’re a **pet**!”

 _This asshole has a lot of nerve,_ was all Sanji could think.

* * *

Rayne gasped as Zoro woke with a start, unsheathing one of his swords. 

“What’s the matter,” she asked, alarmed at his sudden and intense movement. “If it’s about Sanji, she left a few moments ago, saying that you’d follow after her on your own.”

“Alone,” he mumbled, his face etched with worry. Zoro urgently slipped on his boots, hoisting the groceries onto his back and rushing out of the shop. _Something’s not right,_ he thought, urgently searching the city streets. _I have to find him_ **_right now._**

* * *

The starless night made it hard to see, and the mediocre illumination that the street lamps presented were of no help to anyone. It didn’t make any difference to Zoro though, and he ran straight ahead, listening for the jingle of Sanji’s dog tags. It was almost impossible to hear them, and he quickly realized that he had no clue where he was.

 _I stopped being able to hear the tags a while ago, so I'm either really far away, or whatever was happening to make them jingle has stopped._ Zoro stopped for a moment, listening to hear even the smallest sound on the quiet streets. After a second or two, he heard a man’s voice, loud and clear. 

“I'm surprised your masters would buy you such fancy clothes and a collar even though you're just a play thing.”

 _Oh, fuck_ _... unless someone else in town has a collar on, that man must to be talking to_ _Sanji,_ Zoro thought, glad that he might be close to Sanji. Yet, immediately after he felt that relief, he was overcome with unadulterated rage. _I'll gut the man that has the audacity to hurt him_ _,_ he thought savagely, trying to remain level-headed but failing miserably.

Zoro's head was reeling and all his energy went to the brain cells that focused on killing **anyone** that would hurt **his** Sanji. He turned the corner sharply and, in the nearby alley, he saw a bright head of blond hair. When the scene finally became clear to his poorly adjusting eye, his anger and anxiety doubled.

Sanji was pinned against the wall, held up by bleeding wrists bound by handcuffs. The man was grinning maniacally at Sanji, his left hand balled into a fist and posed to strike.

Zoro steadied himself, managing to collect himself just enough to feel safe drawing his sword. When he saw Sanji's wrists bleeding he wanted to panic, but knew he couldn't if he wanted to make sure he got Sanji out okay. At least, as okay as he could possibly be in such a situation. 

Silently, as not to alert Westin, Zoro moved behind him, unsheathing and pressing his blade against his neck in one swift movement. He violently pulled Westin’s hair, almost breaking his neck. 

“You.. You **piece** of **fucking** **shit** ,” Zoro choked out through gritted teeth, his muscles tense with rage. “Don’t move a muscle or I swear I’ll carve your arteries out!” 

The pressure behind the sword was already drawing blood, so Westin was forced to obey. “O-oh, are you perhaps a S-Straw Hat? I take i-it she's yours,” he asked, his voice cracking like a prepubescent boy.

The way Westin referred to Sanji just worsened Zoro’s mood. It wasn’t the same as Nami, Luffy, and even Zoro himself, albeit never aloud, did it. When they made such a claim, it came with the naturally lovey-dovey connotation that “Sanji’s mine, and I’m Sanji’s.” This was **nothing** like that. 

“Don’t you fucking dare. He’s not property!”

“Right, right! I-I didn’t mean it like that,” Westin insisted. It took only a single glance at Sanji for him to realize he was completely fucked. He attempted to laugh it off, his Marine authority useless against an infamous pirate. 

“Haha… I’m **r-really** quite sorry about that. You know, us Marines turn a blind eye to you pirates all the time anyway, so let's just forget about this.”

Zoro looked at Sanji. There was blood dripping down his arms from his wrists, and despite being in obvious pain, his face was alight with rebellion. Zoro knew he didn't have the time to admire Sanji’s strength, but he still couldn't help himself from feeling proud. Focusing back on Westin, Zoro ignored the cry of his sword for more violence, knowing full well that he would satiate that desire **very** soon. 

“ **Shut** **up** already, for fuck's sake,” he yelled at Westin, the drumming of his boiling blood in his ears making it hard to focus and Westin’s incessant pleading of no help. Once Westin quieted down, Zoro remembered what Nami said about what was written on each tag.

“The tags… You read them, right?”

Westin’s body froze, unable to move in the face of the inevitable. When he didn’t reply, Zoro repeated his question with barely restrained murderous intent. This time he added, “Don’t fuck with me. I **know** you read them. They're impossible to miss.”

“Y-yes, I did,” Westin answered, voice quivering. Westin could’ve never foreseen this. He was struck with the same fear as the innocent victims who he preyed on.

“The yellow one. Read it aloud. **Very** carefully.” 

“‘A-any harm done to this pet will result in crippling debt and possible **d-d-death** at the hands of the owner.’” 

Before it had seemed funny to him, his hubris brushing off the idea of repercussions for his actions. Now, he was visibly shaking. He began to shamelessly beg for his life, offering all sorts of payment in a pathetic attempt to bribe the furious swordsman. Zoro ignored him.

“Glad you understand your punishment. It’s more than you deserve,” was all he said, and he legitimately wondered if death was too lenient a sentence. He came to the conclusion that Sanji’s safety was most important and since his wrists were bleeding, getting back to the ship was top priority. _I don't have time to waste on such scum._

“Let go of our cook this **fucking** instant,” Zoro said, replying to not even a single one of Westin’s cries for mercy. The colonel’s hands recoiled away from Sanji’s body like he was a burning hot coal. Zoro wriggled his eyebrows and tilted his head, gesturing to Sanji that he wanted him to move out of the way. 

When Sanji was adequately far enough, Westin began to panic, understanding exactly what that meant. His momentary relief that maybe Zoro would release him drowned miserably, leaving him hollow and begging yet again. His pleas fell on deaf ears and in a swift, clean slice, Zoro granted his sword’s wish for Westin’s head. 

Unfazed, he knelt down, wiping his blade clean using the freshly deceased man’s shirt and rummaging through his pockets for the key to the cuffs. Gently, he took Sanji’s left wrist, the jingle of the handcuffs loud as they hit the cement. He stared at Sanji’s wrists, the cuts making his heart pound with wrath anew.

 _Shit. I saw them before but how much of this damage is going to be permanent? His hands and his wrists are his most precious assets,_ Zoro thought, feeling a sort of second-hand heartbreak just thinking about how miserable Sanji would be if he could never cook again. **_Why_ ** _wasn’t I here for him sooner? I should’ve-_

Sanji’s voice shattered Zoro’s thoughts like glass, and he immediately put his guilt on the backburner to listen to the shaken blond. 

“Thanks,” Sanji said, eyes glued to the floor. He inched forward, and laced his fingers between Zoro’s, completely shocking the swordsman. He moved closer to him, pressing himself against his chest and adopting a similar position to the one they were in just hours earlier. Eventually, he made eye-contact. 

“C-can I kiss you,” he asked, startling Zoro at the ill-timing of the request. However, he wasn't stupid enough to ever refuse such a sweet invitation.

“Yeah,” he answered, suddenly feeling quite breathless. He watched eagerly as Sanji leaned forward and placed a shy peck on his lips, both of their eyes still locked on each other. Sanji went to retreat almost immediately, but Zoro lightly touched his shoulder. 

“Your heel is broken, and you look pretty exhausted. Just lean on me,” he offered, and to his surprise, Sanji obliged. 

“You seriously saved me… Thank you,” Sanji murmured, picking up his bag. “...Let’s try and hurry back to the ship before anything else happens.” 

With no more room for discussion, the two hurried off in the direction of the port. 

* * *

“Chopper,” Zoro yelled, waking up the entire ship. He boarded the ship with a stumbling Sanji at his side, who was hissing at him in hushed whispers to quiet down before Nami and Robin woke up. Of course, having not heeded Sanji’s advice, Zoro effectively stirred the whole crew, who were all sluggishly filing out of the barracks. 

Chopper was the first to come out, his tiny little doe eyes going wide at the dripping red strips of Zoro’s shirt wrapped around Sanji’s wrists. “Sanji,” he cried, running over to the duo. “What happened?” 

Sanji shrugged nonchalantly, but his posture made it all too clear that he was too tired to get into it. “Long story,” he said, head lolling to the side to rest on Zoro’s shoulder. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the crew, but no one commented on it. “I think I just need… some sleep.” 

Chopper nodded ferociously, changing forms and swiping Sanji from Zoro, rushing off to the med-bay for the second time that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cryiiing. I wanted to get this out sooner, since it's my favorite chapter but school's been hectic, so I haven't had much time to make sure everything is properly edited before uploading, hence the delay. There will likely be a good couple days before the next chapter is out too, so I apologize in advance. For now, I hope you enjoyed me being predictable and Zoro and Sanji being lil badasses.


	6. Morning Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Sanji back home safely, the captain, navigator, and swordsman make their relief very much known.

“Those cuffs,” Chopper mumbled, his back facing the rest of the crew as he put his tools away. “They must’ve been as sharp as knives.” He spun in his chair, pointing a small hoove at a sleeping Sanji. “That, coupled with the friction, has led to his wrists sustaining several lacerations.”

The rest of the crew were packed into the bay, each of them with worried expressions and fidgety body language. Nami knelt by the bed, staring at Sanji’s bandaged wrists. When he noticed how upset she was, Chopper tried to comfort her. 

“They’re very superficial wounds. They shouldn’t leave any lasting scarring but I’d like for him to skip cooking tomorrow so he can heal a bit,” he said, helping alleviate some of her concern. “It was only bleeding so much because of the placement of the cuts. He’s just resting now.”

With a sigh, Nami relaxed significantly. _He’s still gonna be able to cook… thank goodness._

She touched his face, smiling fondly as he nuzzled closer, grumbling something in his sleep. Robin caught wind of the mood, nudging Chopper to get up and leave, dragging the rest of the crew along with them. Once they left, Luffy sat himself at the head of the bed, the movement stirring Sanji awake. 

“Captain,” he mumbled, slowly sitting up. “I should start prepping for tomorrow's breakfast, huh? Something specific you want?”

Sanji allowed the hand on his shoulder to gently guide him onto his back again, his head falling on Luffy’s lap. A straw hat found itself upon his head at a lopsided angle, covering his eyes. 

“Don’t overwork yourself,” Luffy ordered softly, hand reaching over to pet Sanji’s chin. “We’re just glad Sanji’s okay. We’ll stay here with you, so get more sleep.” 

Nami crawled onto the bed, snuggling herself under Sanji’s right arm, carefully avoiding his wrists and clinging to his side. “Nami-swan,” he muttered, unable to see because of Luffy’s hat but knowing it was her regardless. “I’m sorry I broke your heel.” 

She placed a peck on his lips, startling both Zoro and Luffy. “Shh, don’t worry about it,” she murmured against his lips, wrapping her arms around him. His bright red cheeks were visible even under the straw hat and, thinking it the prime opportunity, Luffy leaned down and kissed Sanji too. 

Zoro felt the urge well up in him as well but he ignored it, grateful for what he received earlier and confident that Sanji likely wouldn’t take as kindly to him as he did to Nami and Luffy. His predictions were proven wrong when, after waiting a moment or two for Zoro to make a move, Sanji beckoned him.

“You just gonna stand around and do nothing, Marimo,” he asked, mumbling near inaudibly. He put a hand on Luffy’s hat like it could hide his very evident embarrassment. 

Zoro smiled. “No, of course not," he replied, giving Sanji a brief kiss in the same manner as Luffy and Nami. Realizing that he should take his place on the bed as well, he found a pillow and put it on Sanji’s stomach, crawling between his parted legs and getting comfortable.

Naturally, he was the first to fall asleep, not hearing as Sanji uttered a couple tiny complaints about feeling smothered. Nonetheless, Sanji also fell asleep in due time, and Luffy followed suit almost immediately after.

Nami took a while longer, content with watching the three men cuddle with each other. _I'm glad th_ _ey’re finally being honest._ Relieved that Sanji was safe, she let herself relax, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sanji woke up with a start, a crushing weight on his chest forcing his eyes open. He looked down but his view was obscured by a fluffy head of black hair. 

_Luffy,_ he thought, petting the tousled mane of his captain. Luffy mumbled something about wanting steak and then rolled onto his stomach, his face resting comfortably between a pair of DDs. Sanji continued to stroke Luffy's head as he looked around, noticing that Nami was no longer in his arms. 

_Must've had to check our course_. 

Zoro and Luffy were still content with taking up as much bed space as possible. Like Luffy, who was now half on top of Sanji and half on the bed, Zoro had also relocated at some point in the night. He was trapped between Sanji and the wall, his arm draped over Luffy. 

_I have to get up. Sleeping in isn't a habit I wanna develop._

However, he was way too comfortable to move. He also didn't want to disturb Luffy, so he settled on staring at the ceiling and reflected on the kisses he'd received from the two now occupying majority of the bed-space.

Maybe Zoro really wasn't as straight as Sanji had previously thought he was. As for Luffy, given how uncomplicated he was, he probably didn't even think about gender when he liked someone.

Eventually, said captain began to move, waking up slightly. Sanji watched, waiting to hear him demand food. Instead, he was left confused as Luffy’s wandering hands began to explore his upper body. Luffy tugged at his shirt, hands restlessly rubbing the sides of Sanji's stomach.

“Sanji,” Luffy mumbled, obviously still sleepy, but intent on staying awake. He rested his chin on Sanji's chest, looking up at him with those large, compelling eyes of his. He gave his cook a tired grin. “Hey... Hey, Sanji… Can I touch your boobs?”

_Is there ever a day this captain of mine doesn't ask for too much?_

“Of course not,” Sanji whispered, really not wanting to wake Zoro up with this conversation. When Luffy began to pout, Sanji felt his resolve shake a little. Actually, it shook a lot.

 _He's so pushy... At the very least, he’ll prolly get bored quickly,_ he told himself, attempting to justify the fact that he was about to say “yes.” _He just wants to see if they're real, I'm sure._

“F-fine.” 

Happy, Luffy sat up, making Zoro’s arm fall, and hastily began unbuttoning Sanji's bustier. Again, Sanji stopped him in his tracks. “ **What** are you doing,” he hissed, hands coming up to cover his now exposed chest. 

Luffy looked confused. “Touching,” he said, more like a question than an answer. “Your shirt’s too stiff. It was in the way.” He placed his hands atop Sanji's. “You changed your mind? I can't do it now?” 

The innocuous yet intense look Luffy gave him made his heart melt and he knew he’d willingly find himself wrapped around his captain’s finger like usual. Perhaps even more so than any of the other Straw Hats, Sanji was exceptionally weak to his captain’s wishes. He moved his hands and squeezed his eyes shut, thoroughly embarrassed. 

“N-No, I didn’t change my mind. Go ahead, just make it quick.”

Exploding with enthusiasm, Luffy helped himself to the meal before him. 

* * *

Having been scolded for being too rough almost immediately after starting, each of Luffy's caresses were uncharacteristically careful and it was obvious that such slow and mild movements were making him bored. He looked at Sanji, who had turned his head to hide his face. 

Unsatisfied with being unable to see Sanji’s face, Luffy glanced around the med-bay, delighted when he saw a hair clip Nami had left behind. He pinned Sanji's hair back and it was as if the curtain had been drawn open to reveal a bewitching, yet bashful actor. 

Sanji faced Luffy, porcelain cheeks painted bright red. “What did you do that for,” he hissed, fingers combing through his hair in search of the clip. 

Not bothering to answer, Luffy leaned down and kissed Sanji. Stunned, Sanji stopped his quest for solace behind his bangs. While Sanji was still surprised, Luffy made use of the forceful vigor that he had pent up from fondling his cook. He squeezed Sanji's boob hard enough to make him gasp, then pushed his tongue inside. 

Luffy swallowed Sanji's muted moans, defiling him with a wild eagerness. Despite having little to no experience, he bounded forward, squeezing Sanji's boobs under the assumption that each moan was an indication of pleasure. 

_He must be feeling good too,_ Luffy thought, cracking open an eye to look at Sanji, who was falling apart. When he saw the tears pricking Sanji’s tightly shut eyes, his hips involuntarily bucked. 

_Pretty. So, so pretty. I wanna touch him everyday… I wanna make him feel good like this every morning and night, whenever and wherever we want. I wonder if that’s something he wants too._

Each time Luffy pushed against each him, Sanji’s legs jerked and his whole body trembled. All the stimulus led to hands at Luffy’s shoulders, the kiss being broken as Sanji pushed him back. Disappointed but not wanting to do anything to make Sanji upset, Luffy complied and went to move off him. 

_I got a lot further than I thought he'd let me. Another day, then,_ he thought, still unwilling to completely give up the sensation of Sanji trembling beneath him. A soft, almost meek grip tugged at Luffy’s vest. 

“I didn’t want you to stop,” Sanji mumbled, obviously embarrassed. “I just wanted you to… y-y’know… with my nipples.” 

His jaw clenched shut and his eyes followed suit, like a shy middle schooler sticking their hand out and waiting for their crush to grab it. Delighted, Luffy feigned ignorance. 

“What do you mean, Sanji,” he asked, noting the way Sanji bit his lip and shifted slightly. Luffy gave him some prompting, lightly swiping the pad of his thumb across one of Sanji’s nipples. 

“Luffy,” he whined. “You know what I mean… R-rub them.” Sanji used his other hand to demonstrate, thumb and forefinger gently twisting a hardened nipple. Luffy watched, enraptured, as Sanji pleasured himself, obviously wanting more despite his flustered demeanor. 

“Like this,” he murmured. Pleading eyes looked up at Luffy. “Please?” 

His request was promptly granted. Ever lacking in self-control, Luffy pinched a bit too hard, eliciting a tiny yelp which, surprisingly enough, woke Zoro up. 

* * *

_Why's the cook shirtless,_ Zoro pondered, completely befuddled by the scene he woke up to. Several seconds passed before he processed this thought, and the reality of what was happening. _The cook… is_ **_shirtless_** _._

Perhaps his nerve impulses were exceptionally slow, because it was several minutes longer before he managed to formulate his next thought. _And Luffy's on top of him… Were they… making out while I was sleeping?_

He stared at Sanji's boobs. Luffy still had a firm grip on him, thumb twiddling perky nipples. Each roll and tug resulted in a tiny groan from Sanji, hands clutching Luffy’s shirt. Luffy happily played with what Sanji gave him access to, ignoring the glaring elephant in the room that was Zoro being awake. Eventually, Sanji found the will to give him a literal slap on the wrist. 

He struggled feebly to get Luffy off him and collect himself but Luffy was in no way willing to budge. He clung to Sanji, his body weight bearing down on Sanji’s hips, giving him little room for movement. Zoro watched curiously. 

“Feel free to continue,” he said, interested in how the situation would progress. He sat up and leaned against the wall for a better view. Luffy simply beamed that heart-warming smile of his. 

“We will, then!” 

Sanji, on the other hand, went to voice a grievance, but was muted by Luffy forcing his tongue down his throat again. Sanji's muffled moans echoed throughout the room as he was helplessly assaulted by Luffy’s invading tongue. His hands planted themselves in Luffy's black chevelure, tugging at the short black strands. 

Each pull resulted in a rough snap of Luffy’s hips, and although Sanji would argue that he didn’t, Zoro saw him making full use of it, meeting Luffy with every thrust.

 **_Fuck_** _, they're so_ **_hot_** _,_ Zoro thought. The way Luffy kept grinding on Sanji made him inhale sharply, and he felt his own dick growing half-hard at the sight. _Still, they’ve been going at it for much longer than an amateur in the lead could handle. That must mean that…_

“Sanji.” 

Zoro leaned forward, smiling a small, mischievous grin when Sanji side-eyed him. Catching the attention of both Luffy and Sanji, he pinched Sanji’s nose shut, resulting in an angry and confused glare from the affected party. 

“You sure do love to complain, but at the end of the day...” 

Surprisingly enough, Sanji’s hips stuttered and he clenched his eyes shut again. _I knew it. He can deny it all he wants, but he likes this kind of thing. He must’ve been guiding Luffy then… not following._

Smug now that his hypothesis had been confirmed, Zoro let go as Sanji pushed Luffy away from him, gasping for air. “...You really are a lewd cook, aren’t you?”

Sanji was completely flushed, his hair thoroughly messed up _._ _Man,_ Zoro thought. _What a sight._

Both of his adorably curly eyebrows were in full view. He had a small cut on his swollen lips, evidence of Luffy’s utter voracity. He was short-winded, his chest rising and falling in quick bursts as he attempted to regain his breath.

Seeing their charming cook completely undone is something Zoro didn’t think he'll **ever** get tired of. It felt like electricity was being pumped through his veins, lighting him up an undeniable desire to dominate and tease Sanji, but also with the same distinctive possessiveness and protectiveness that he felt the other day when Westin attacked them. 

As usual, unable to just let Zoro be right, Sanji took the bait. “You’re wrong… I **don't** like it,” he said, but his body was telling a different story. “Luffy wanted to do it… That's. **It**.” 

Luffy chimed in, bright and beaming despite the dark red tint on his cheeks. _He too, looks utterly gorgeous_. His lips were just as swollen and red as Sanji’s. He had that fulfilled kind of look on his face, but his eyes didn't hide his undeniable desire for more. A desire for everything Sanji had to offer.

Still, Zoro couldn't help but be disappointed at all the clothes modestly hiding Luffy’s body. What he wouldn’t do to have them gone in the same manner as Sanji’s.

“Yep! I wanted to do it,” Luffy said, proud for no apparent reason. He looked at Sanji before happily squeezing his boobs again, leaning down to rest his flushed face against Sanji’s overheated chest. “I think Sanji liked it too, though!” 

He began to giggle, and with that contagious laugh of his, Zoro found himself chuckling along quietly. He started full blown laughing when Sanji smacked Luffy upside the head. 

“Oww, **Sanji** ,” Luffy whined loudly, making Sanji release an exasperated sigh. Still, it didn't go unnoticed by Zoro the way the edges of Sanji’s lips curved upward in a poorly hidden smile. 

“Get off me, you oaf of a Captain.”

“ **Zoro,** Sanji’s being **mean** ,” Luffy yelled, adding a plethora of “o”s that don’t exist in his name. And, for the second time that morning, his actions brought someone else into the fray. 

The door popped open and Nami’s voice came from right outside it. “Why the hell are you guys so loud,” she hissed, peeking inside the room. Sanji scrambled to hide himself, not wanting to seem indecent in front of Nami, but it was already too late.

* * *

“N-N-Nami-swan,” Sanji stuttered, shoving Luffy into Zoro’s arms. Shaky fingers quickly buttoned up his shirt, and he took the hairpin out of his hair, haphazardly fixing it. “D-Do you want a snack? I have left over pudding from yesterday!” 

She gave him a blank stare, making a cold shiver run down his spine. “What were you and Luffy doing,” she asked, expression unreadable.

“Making-” Sanji smacked his hand over Luffy’s mouth, giving Nami a weak, wary smile.

“N-Nothing. Sorry for bothering you, Nami-dear.” He released Luffy, his head turning to shoot him small but harsh daggers, as if to say ‘shut up.’

Nami stared at him for a while longer. _Nothing, huh? Looking like that, there’s no way that’s true._

Nami grabbed Sanji by his shirt, yanking him forward. “Nami-san-” he croaked, but he was once again forcefully silenced with a kiss, this time from Nami instead of Luffy. She slipped her tongue between his parted lips at the same time she slipped a hand between his legs. Much more experienced than Luffy, she toyed with him, and he submitted dutifully, always happy to let Nami take the lead.

 _She’s so rough,_ Sanji thought, his hands slowly finding their way under her shirt. Just the feeling of her soft skin was enough to give him a fleeting whole-body tremor. She immediately went on a hunt for his weak point, licking the roof of his mouth. When he moaned and clawed at her back, she knew she’d found exactly what she was looking for. 

Zoro watched, his restraint dwindling. _He may be a pervert who gets turned on by pretty much anything a woman does, but the cook's in no way wrong when he says Nami’s sexy. She really brought him to his knees. I’m sure between Luffy’s persistence, and her ferocity, it’s all too much for him. All the teasing might make him break._

The idea of Sanji begging for more while Nami dominated him made Zoro gasp, drawing the attention of Luffy. The outline of his captain’s dick was painfully clear, and he looked just as tortured as Zoro. 

“Zoro, lemme kiss you,” he demanded, with that same needy look he was giving Sanji earlier. 

“Go ahead,” Zoro replied, sitting Luffy comfortably in his lap. The moment Luffy realized the opportunity of their position, he rolled his hips, small moans sounding blissfully happy for relief. Zoro couldn’t stop himself from doing the same, having been dying for some friction since he saw Luffy and Sanji kissing. As his and Luffy’s tongues danced, he cracked open his eye and was surprised to see Nami on the bed atop Sanji. 

_She must’ve forced him back down,_ he realized. 

She had her hand between his legs, roughly rubbing him. Sanji’s skirt rode up, and both of his hands clutched tight to it, meekly attempting to pull it down to keep himself somewhat covered. Zoro was right about to turn Luffy around so he could see but a loud knock and Usopp’s voice interrupted them. 

“Hey, Nami. Is Sanji feeling better?”

Zoro looked at Nami, and she looked **pissed**. Sanji might have been feeling better, but now Nami must definitely wasn't. He knew exactly what she was **thinking:** _Just as it was getting good._

She got off him, fixed herself, and left. From the fast tapping of her heels, she was **not** pleased.

“Poor Usopp,” Luffy whispered. “She’s gonna be extra strict with him today and he won't even know what he did wrong.”

Zoro nodded. Out of the whole crew, Usopp had the worse record of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Before they could focus their attention back on him, Sanji rushed to out as well, leaving Zoro and Luffy to take care of themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had actually finished editing this a while ago, but I forgot to save it and since I didn't publish it right away, I had to edit it again T.T Thank you all for your continued patience while I learn how this site works; it's really appreciated! School is busy as always, so I'll have to ask you guys to continue to be so understanding. Also, I'm very thankful for all the kudos and comments! I plan on replying to them all soon :)


	7. Confirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a years of beating around the bush, the quartet makes their feelings crystal-clear. 
> 
> (Fair warning, this chapter has smut)

“He **is** pouting, right,” Franky asked, quietly whispering to Brook.

Brook laughed under his breath. “Oh, yes, I do believe so.”

They both glanced at their captain, who was unhappily chowing down on some rice pudding. He was glaring at the dessert as if it had done something to personally offend him. Every other minute he sighed loudly, making his displeasure known to everyone in the room.

 _Stupid Usopp,_ he thought. He pouted, cursing innocent Usopp for his ill-timing. He knew their sniper was already getting his head chewed off by Nami, but Luffy couldn't help also being bitter. His attention wandered, leading his eyes back to the cute cook rushing around the kitchen.

Sanji had spent the day organizing the kitchen, avoiding worsening his wounds by relying on Franky for moving heavy objects. Naturally, this was per Chopper's orders, since Sanji himself was obviously embarrassed to ask. He continued to diligently update the kitchen’s inventory, and with every move he made, Luffy’s eyes followed him. Each time Sanji turned around, Luffy conspicuously found something else to focus on.

Franky and Brook had been watching this go on for at least a half-hour. The experience was mostly amusing for them. The way that Luffy was silently demanding attention but Sanji had yet to notice was entertaining, to say the least. It wasn’t until Sanji bent down and his newly donned chiffon wrap dress rode up enough to expose a cute pair of white panties with an adorable whale print that Luffy finally stopped pouting.

Of course, Brook and Franky saw the panties too, and the cyborg slapped a hand over the skeleton’s mouth before he could make some loud, inappropriate comment. Silently, the two of them glanced over at Luffy, trying to gauge his reaction. There was a long pause as Luffy’s mind processed what he just saw, and the duo watched as the revelation hit their captain, his eyes narrowing with purpose and his tongue swiping across his lips in an instinctual act of hunger. 

Franky's eyes softened in pity for his cook-bro as he watched Luffy shoot out of his seat and stride over to Sanji. His movements were brisk and eager, the pep in his step not unlike an apex predator’s happy trot toward prey they knew couldn’t escape. Poor, unknowing Sanji turned around at the quick, rhythmic tapping of Luffy’s sandals, only to be pinned to the wall.

"Are you hungry,” he asked, his voice sweet and unassuming. One look into Luffy’s eyes however, and he changed his tune.

“Luffy. You better not be planning anything,” he warned, putting a hand on Luffy's shoulder, as if to deter him. Luffy smiled, getting closer to him and placing a gentle hand on his cheek. Sanji sighed, rolling his eyes. **Of course** Luffy was planning on doing something stupid.

Not sure what exactly was going to happen but not wanting witnesses, Sanji told Brook and Franky to get out. He made up a crappy excuse about cleaning the kitchen riddled with apologies, despite them seeing the position the other two were in and knowing full well what it meant. The second they left, Luffy wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. He leaned up and gave Sanji a peck on the lips. 

_Now Luffy's doing it too. Did I get too greedy yesterday? What if this development in our relationship ends up irreversibly damaging what we already have? It would be my fault and I don't think I could bear that..._ A bubble of panic that Sanji had been repressing since his transformation popped. _I need to draw boundaries to avoid that._

“Luffy, listen. You can’t just touch me wherever or whenever you feel like it. I know I gave you permission this morning but…” Sanji was unable to find an adequate reason why he was telling Luffy to stop other than ‘I terrified of losing you guys,' so he shrugged helplessly in lieu of an explanation. “Listen, you should probably just forget about all that.”

 _Actually,_ **_please_ ** _forget about it. For my sake. I messed up, and I’m not sure how to iron this out._

Luffy looked livid. His hands slid down from Sanji's face to his waist, gripping him tight. He shook his head, vehemently rejecting Sanji's suggestion. “Why the **hell** would I do **that**?”

_Of course. I should’ve expected this._

“ **Because** , Luffy. I-I slipped up. Yesterday and today have been... turbulent for me. A lot happened, so I was tired and wasn’t thinking straight. I shouldn’t have let anything that happened happen in the first place,” Sanji explained, those confused puppy eyes of Luffy’s making him feel exceptionally guilty.

“ **No** ,” Luffy said, adamant that Sanji wasn’t being honest. “Even if that's true, you **liked** it. I’m one-hundred percent sure." His expression shifted, from confused to confident. His eyes narrowed, a keen gaze seeing right through Sanji.

“That’s not the only thing you like either. You like **me** , don’t you? Not only me though. Everyone knows you like Nami, but you’ve been trying to hide that you like Zoro too.”

Sanji hated how sharp his idiot captain could be sometimes. _Fucking shit. Once Luffy becomes instinctually aware of something, he won’t accept any rebuttals to his claim. He knows full well that I can’t even deny him._

 _“_ Let’s say I did. Then what,” Sanji asked, hands on hips. He glared daggers at Luffy, attempting to defend the wall he built around his heart. It had served him so valiantly all these years, allowing only for frivolous flirting, but now it stood to come crumbling down. 

Luffy took this as confirmation, however, and he grinned. “Then we date,” he said triumphantly. He gave Sanji a peck on the lips. “I like you guys too, so it’s as simple as that!” 

Sanji stared blankly at Luffy. Luffy's earnest and determined eyes pleaded with him. Pleaded to be allowed to call Sanji his boyfriend. _He’s actually serious._

“That’s a **four person relationship** with **three** men,” Sanji said, holding up four fingers in Luffy’s face as if his captain didn’t understand just how many people that was. “How the hell would that even work out?”

Luffy shrugged, and Sanji should’ve known better than to even ask because his captain has **never** been one for plans.

“Shanks told me that your lover should also be your friend and we’re all the **best** of friends **so** ,” he held out the word before continuing, “We’d be **perfect** lovers!” 

Sanji supposed that Shanks was right, but Luffy sounded like he was making some sort of logical fallacy. _What if, instead of making us closer, it tore our friendship apart?_ “Luffy, I--”

With grace, Nami opened the door, Zoro tiredly shuffling in behind her.

“Cook,” Zoro lazily muttered. “I’m hungry. Nami said she'll cook but she wants your permission--” 

Nami hit his head, mumbling that he was being obnoxious and taking too long to finish his sentence. “Hey, Sanji, how are your wrists...” She paused, feeling like she always ended up walking in on these situations between Luffy and Sanji. “What’s happening here?” 

“Perfect timing,” Luffy chirped, but Sanji couldn’t disagree more. Before an opportunity to shut Luffy up presented itself, his captain managed to spill out all the details of their conversation.

“So, can we all go out with each other,” he asked innocently when he was done.

Nami’s cheeks lit up red just the same as Sanji’s did, but Zoro just looked confused. So, Luffy elaborated. “Sanji doesn’t seem to think it’s possible,” he pouted, wiggling an accusatory finger at Sanji. 

Zoro tilted his head like a confused puppy. “I thought we already were? Five seconds ago, we were on the brink of fucking each other, so I mean…” He shrugged. “Figured we were already in an unspoken agreement.” 

_You should never just figure that, you dimwit. At least get confirmation before trying to stick your dick in someone,_ Sanji thought, yet he felt oddly endeared by Zoro’s refreshing acceptance to such a relationship. Nami looked at the ceiling, manicured fingernail teasing a piece of her auburn locks.

“...I thought the same,” she mumbled quietly. Naturally, Sanji now found such a claim to be infinitely more endearing.

Elated, Luffy pressed his nose against Sanji’s. “You’re the only one making excuses, Sanji! So, what’s it gonna be?”

A moment that felt like forever passed. A small kiss on Luffy’s forehead and a tiny “Okay,” was all the answer Luffy was gonna get, and it was more than enough.

* * *

 _A four-way relationship with my crewmates,_ Sanji thought, feeling like a conflicted boy in love. He was still confused, but he couldn’t deny the joy of achieving a dream he never thought possible. 

Now he was in the guys’ barracks, staring at the strawberry print nightgown he bought. When he had seen it, he knew it would look good on him, but was reluctant to actually get it. When he remembered Zoro’s words prior to them entering the store, that the crew would always accept him, he finally decided to go through with the purchase, and now he felt strangely content and happy with it. If he was being honest, Sanji found that everything he bought was, in one way or another, inspired by those who he now calls his boyfriends and his girlfriend. 

The black lace bra and panty set reminded him of Nami; elegant yet sexy. The baby pink satin set was courtesy of Zoro and his recommendation for the color. The adorably adventurous nature of the whale set made him think of Luffy, and how much his captain would love to see the tiny Laboon-resembling whales on his undergarments. That being said, he hadn’t planned on actually showing them anything. 

_Either way, I went a bit crazy with the shopping. Two pairs of panties, three sets, and a night gown. I’m only gonna be a woman for a couple more days now, so I really shouldn’t have bought so much. Well, I’ll worry about it later._

He undid the ribbon of his dress, tiredly sliding out of it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened. _Who the hell is it now?_

“ **Oh** , Sanji!”

 _Luffy?_ He whipped around quickly, only to find Luffy flinging himself into his arms. “I’m still changing,” he groaned, and Luffy laughed like Sanji just told the world’s most finely-crafted joke ever. 

“Yep,” he said, his eager hands doing what they do best and starting to explore Sanji’s body. He obviously wasn't listening. His chin settled on Sanji’s shoulder.

“I wanna continue where we left off this morning. Nami told me to at least wait till tonight.”

Sanji relaxed in Luffy’s embrace, letting his captain’s hands unhook his bra for him. “Luffy, I’m too tired,” he said, grabbing Luffy’s left wrist when his hand found its way under his bra. It wasn’t untrue, but it was Sanji’s embarrassment that really held him back.

Luffy seemed disappointed, but immediately perked back up when he looked at the bra he was trying to get Sanji out of. “ **Cool**!” His eyes sparkled, and he made a grabbing motion with his hands. “I caught a glimpse earlier but you really do have underwear with Laboon on it!”

 _I_ **_highly_ ** _doubt they made it specifically to be Laboon,_ Sanji thought with a small smile. _Either way, I called it._ Sanji’s pride in his accurate hypothesis of what Luffy’s reaction would be caused him to completely miss his captain’s confession that he’d already seen his underwear in the first place.

“Alright, alright, that's enough gawking.” Sanji swatted at Luffy. He pushed at his chest lightly, then pointed to the pink garb on a nearby chair. “Gimme my nightgown and turn around.” 

Luffy obeyed.

Suspicious of Luffy’s complete obedience, Sanji added, “Don’t peek.” It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say, since telling Luffy **not** to do something usually made him want to do it even more. Yet to Sanji’s surprise, Luffy actually didn’t even try to peek.

Of course, he didn't **until** he heard the soft thump of Sanji’s bra hitting the ground. Luffy couldn’t help himself and tried cautiously to nab a quick glance from over his shoulder, but Sanji immediately caught him. He lifted the bra with his foot, kicked it, and hit Luffy right in the face.

“I **told** you **not** to peek,” Sanji said, finishing buttoning himself up with a small smile, thinking that Luffy looked pretty hilarious with a bra on his face. At first, Luffy just pouted, dropping the bra back onto the floor, but in a picosecond, his frown turned into a cute smile that made Sanji’s heart throb. 

Luffy ignored the comment, instead heading over to the plush mattress of Sanji’s bottom bunk bed with a hop and a skip. Once he got comfortable, he reached out, beckoning Sanji over with his hand. “Come here,” he said with a gleam in his eye that Sanji didn’t quite trust.

Still, with a roll of his eyes, Sanji went over. Content, Luffy tucked him under the covers and snuggled close to him. There was a tiny, happy little giggle that made Sanji forget that he was supposed to be scolding Luffy. 

His captain spooned him, right hand on a boob and left inching past the waistline of his underwear. Luffy’s overeager left hand cancelled out the effect of his adorable laugh and reminded Sanji that he shouldn’t just let Luffy do whatever he wanted.

“Luffy,” he warned. “Where do you think you’re putting those grubby hands of yours?” Luffy’s chin rested comfortably on Sanji’s nape, each cold puff of air from Luffy making him shiver in the same way Zoro made him earlier. 

“I just got out of the bath, so they’re anything but grubby. And either way, I don't know what you're referring to. My hands aren't doing anything,” Luffy said, unconvincingly faux innocent. He said it in such a ‘tee-hee, my bad,’ manner that Sanji felt like an idiot for expecting Luffy to just go to sleep. After all, if Luffy’s tiny, excited breaths were anything to go by, Sanji wasn’t going to be able to get a peaceful night’s sleep. 

Unfortunately, even as tired as he was, when he felt Luffy’s dick poking at his ass, the lethargy he was consumed by was steadily replaced with unwelcome waves of excitement. Luffy licked the back of Sanji's neck before placing a few messy, open-mouthed kisses on his nape. Each move he made was slow and languid, but not in the careful, controlled manner, like which an artist paints, but rather in a manner that indicated that he too, was somewhat sleepy. 

“We **really** can’t do it,” Luffy asked, as close to politely as the future Pirate King Monkey D. Luffy could get. “I asked Nami and Zoro, and they wanna do it to. Nami’ll be in once she finishes checking the course and Zoro… well, I don't know what he's doing. We took a bath together so he should be here.”

 _I hate when he uses that broken-hearted voice on me. There’s nothing that can be done; I simply don’t want to do it when I’m already so tired. And_ **_of course_ ** _I would love to touch Nami but come on, it’s not like I really_ **_want_ ** _to have sex with the other two,_ Sanji thought, ignoring the feeling that he was lying to himself.

“Be honest, Sanji. I’m sure you wanna spend our first night as an official couple together too,” Luffy whispered in Sanji’s ear, his voice uncharacteristically low and sultry. His left hand invaded Sanji’s panties, gentle fingers starting to rub his clit. 

_I mean, yeah, I do,_ Sanji thought. _But I also want to go to sleep._

But Luffy’s voice when it was laced with arousal was an excellent tool of persuasion, and Sanji found himself compelled by it. The hand on his boob retreated and he heard Luffy unzip himself. His erection pushed up against Sanji’s upper thigh, hot and already dripping some pre-cum. 

“ **Luffy** ,” he breathed, grabbing Luffy’s left wrist. “Get… your damn hand outta my pants. And put your fucking dick away. You’re making it hard to think.” 

Sanji heard Luffy giggle again. “That's the point, silly,” he said, doing anything but what Sanji just told him to.

 _That stupid fucking cute ass giggle of his_ , Sanji thought, feeling like his brain had decided to just shut down and go with the flow. _Well… I already prepared for tomorrow’s breakfast, so I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad to give in just a bit, right?_

Just as Sanji was about to verbalize his consent, Nami came waltzing in as if on cue (she was really good at that), once again with Zoro right behind her. 

“Did we miss anything,” she asked with a sly smile. When she saw the two of them under the blanket, she cocked her head to the side. “Were you two just gonna go to sleep? Even after I convinced the other guys to camp out on deck?” 

Zoro yawned. “More like **forced** them.” Unlike Nami, he didn’t seem bothered by seeing Luffy and Sanji snuggled in bed. He took off his shirt, and tiredly ruffled his short hair. “This works for me,” he mumbled, yawning yet again. “I’ll just go to sleep too.”

Sanji couldn’t help but get offended at Zoro’s lack of persistence. Luffy and Zoro were both on the opposite extremes, with Luffy being too persistent and Zoro seeming almost completely uninterested. Pissed, Sanji yanked Luffy’s hand out of his panties and got up, striding over to Zoro. He put one hand on Zoro’s shoulder, the other undoing the buttons on his own nightgown. 

“Come on, **Marimo** ,” he whispered in a barely audible pitch. He glared at the swordsman, giving him a tiny, bitter smile. “Don’t you wanna **fuck** me?” 

The reaction was instantaneous. Sanji was jerked toward Zoro for the second time that week and a strong hand grabbed his chin. “Don't poke the bear, Cook, because you **fucking** **bet** I do,” he growled. “Now open wide for me.” 

The smoldering flame that Luffy started kindling in Sanji ignited into a full, blazing fire. If he had any doubts that he was going to do this tonight, they were completely gone now. He obeyed, tugging at Zoro’s shirt in surprise when two fingers roughly invaded his mouth. 

Nearly choking, Sanji reached into Zoro’s hair, tugging at it roughly. As always, Zoro was unfazed. He rubbed the back of Sanji’s mouth, making him gag. “Don’t gimme that look, Lewd Cook. I already know full well you like it when it hurts.” 

It wasn’t untrue, but Sanji wasn’t about to admit it to himself or to Zoro. He bit Zoro, making him withdraw his fingers, then hooked a leg around him, managing to dig the heel of his foot into the back of Zoro’s knee, effectively knocking them both to the ground. 

“ **What the hell** ,” Zoro hissed, angry at first. That was until he realized that Sanji just dug his own grave. The blond was beneath him, with his nightgown completely unbuttoned, looking deliciously defenseless. He had trapped himself between Zoro and a hard place and didn’t even realize it. “...You're an idiot.”

“What the hell are you talking about? **I** knocked **you** down,” Sanji smiled mischievously and added, “ **E** **asily**.” But when Zoro used his weight to straddle him like Luffy did earlier, realization dawned on Sanji’s features. “ **Dammit** ,” he hissed, before losing his ability to voice his qualms for the third, and last, time that day as Zoro kissed him.

Nami watched them for a while, mumbling something about “stupid men” while gracefully removing her panties. She sat on a nearby chair, lifting her skirt up and spreading her legs. “Hurry up and get over here, Luffy.”

Luffy had been watching Zoro and Sanji with a pout, mostly turned on but also annoyed that he’d been stopped from what he was doing before. So when he was beckoned, he rushed over to Nami happily, eager to get a piece of the action. It didn’t take much prompting for him to know what to do. 

His thumbs parted her lips, and he licked her without restraint. Since Luffy didn’t have any prior experience, he barely knew what he was doing and was acting mostly on instinct. She grabbed him by his hair, shoving his face closer and he responded by pushing his tongue inside her vagina. 

While in the middle of eating out Nami, Luffy had a revelation. He moved back slightly, drool running down to his chin. He licked his lips, making Nami tremble with anticipation. In order to avoid annoying her because he ceased his administrations, he gently slid two fingers inside her, rubbing her insides while talking.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if I--”

She shot him down without hesitation. “You are **not** using your devil fruit powers during sex. It’ll be **way** too creepy.” 

Luffy pouted. “But--” 

He was cut off by a hysterical hiss coming from Sanji. “What the hell? Get that monstrous thing away from me!” 

* * *

Nami and Luffy’s attention snapped toward Sanji’s voice. Zoro was towering over a naked Sanji, hard as a rock and panting. He looked down at Sanji with a completely smitten expression, his single eye blown wide in awe. 

Large, calloused hands caressed Sanji’s face, eventually traveling down to his boobs. Sanji’s cheeks nearly broke the normal threshold for how red they could be, and Zoro couldn't help but think that Sanji looked _so fucking_ **_beautiful_**. 

_He’s finally ours,_ Zoro thought with a sense of relief. Now he could admire him whenever he wanted and, he naturally took a moment to do so immediately, downright enraptured with the blond below him. Sanji met Zoro’s gaze, embarrassment and excitement poorly concealed by irritation. 

“Whatever you’re planning to do with your grotesquely huge torture tool better have nothing to do me,” he whispered, but he couldn't seem to stop his eyes from finding their way back to staring at Zoro’s honestly magnificent cock. He’d seen it in the baths before and had always been acutely aware of how well Zoro was hung. It had actually been the basis of several fights, although Zoro had no clue. It generally happened like this: 

Every time the males bathed together, Sanji was always rushed out immediately after finishing, explaining it away with “having to prepare an after-bath snack” or something similar. In reality, he had to cool his head because the sight of both Luffy and Zoro naked and wet was enough to make him so turned on that he was downright irritable. 

One part of his brain barked at him, “Those are my _nakama_. Those are **men.** I **can’t** feel that way about them.” Yet the other part of him was so clear in its desire that he didn’t even have to put it into thoughts or words; it was just an agonizing, begging **need** that made him want to fall to his knees with its intensity. He knew his faulty logic wasn’t nearly enough to deny his primal needs, so his first move was to hide until he calmed down.

Of course, the moment he saw either of them coming out of the bath, he was immediately reminded of his uncontrollable attraction to them. Each and every time, he tried desperately to deal with it by fighting Zoro. He thought that by fighting, he could alleviate some of the mounting pressure in his chest. 

It was a tactic that didn’t work. In fact, it only made him fall even more in love because the way that Zoro kept pace with him made it feel less like a fight and more like an intimate dance that only the two of them could perform. Still, the fighting **did** have one benefit. 

No one would ever suspect him of being attracted to Zoro, and, if he could clearly portray himself as someone who couldn’t stand idiocy, thinking he liked Luffy would be an even more ludicrous assumption. Now, with Sanji’s shameless gawking, Zoro finally noticed. He laughed, low and husky. 

Sanji swore it gave him goosebumps. Then, lips were at his collarbone, nipping and sucking and kissing. Zoro left a trail of hickies as he moved closer and closer to Sanji’s reddened ears.

“Don’t lie to me, you perverted cook. Look at you; you’re already soaking wet for me, aren’t you?” 

A soft gasp rang unbelievably loud in the room, and Sanji knew that he really couldn’t keep denying Zoro much longer. He **definitely** wanted him. He’d wanted him so bad for so long. Sanji gripped Zoro’s shirt, looking at him with pleading eyes and a tiny pout. It was more than enough of an answer for Zoro.

Although they weren’t very romantic, the sight of the two of them absolutely enamoured with each other still warmed Nami and Luffy’s hearts. _They really love each other even though they have the funniest way of showing it,_ Nami thought. _I guess that’s what happens when a couple of idiots fall in love._

She looked down, expecting Luffy to still be there, but he was crawling away on all fours over to the duo. She couldn’t help but giggle quietly, amused at how easily distracted Luffy was. _I should’ve known. He’s not the obedient type like Sanji is._ Interested in how this was going to play out, she watched the scene unfold for a while longer.

* * *

When Luffy reached his destination, Zoro and Sanji both turned to look at him and **man** , Luffy was amazed at the way he didn’t cum just by seeing their faces, all begging and needy like that. The lack of attention made Luffy’s cock throb painfully and, unable to bear it anymore, he licked his hand sloppily and started jerking himself off. 

He was utterly flushed, from his face to his aching dick. His hair was already an absolute mess and sweat made his bangs stick to his forehead. Even so, he looked utterly **delighted**. He had a happy little grin that only faltered when he’d tremble and grit his teeth in pleasure.

“You guys are so hot,” he mumbled with a dopey smile before groaning quietly. Of course, that made Sanji flustered and he looked away with a crimson blush painting his cheeks. Zoro, on the other hand, shifted away from Sanji and closer to Luffy, kissing him roughly on the lips. 

Nami grinned. She, unlike those Luffy and Zoro, wasn’t an idiot. She knew that when it came to it, those two would be in a heated debate over who was going to take Sanji’s virginity, and by that point, she’d be too late to get the first slice of cake. After all, **she** was going to be Sanji’s first. That much was obvious.

 _It was awfully stupid of those two for not focusing on one task for more than two seconds,_ she thought. _But well, that’s what I planned for._

She reached into the purse she brought with her, taking out lube, condoms, and a strap-on. With a pretty blue ribbon, she tied back her hair, not wanting it to get in the way. She put on the strap-on and made her way over to Sanji, who was both suspicious and very interested in what she had on.

“Nami-swan,” he asked, gulping almost comically hard. “What do you plan to do with that?” 

“Oh, you know,” she said, nudging Zoro to move over. He obeyed, eventually just toppling over Luffy with his refusal to stop kissing him just to move. She tossed the bottle of lube and the pack of condoms at the entangled duo. The items hit Zoro straight in the back of the head, making Luffy giggle uncontrollably.

Nami smiled beautifully, innocently even, and Sanji wondered if he was seeing a goddess. He definitely was. She leaned forward and said, with a cute smile still on her face, “Obviously, I’m gonna fuck you, **San-ji-kun**.”

* * *

“Oh,” Sanji said, breathless. With Nami’s boobs pressed against his and a dildo rubbing against him, he honestly wasn’t sure if he could form any more words than that. 

She leaned over him, placing a kiss on his forehead. Soft hands traced his curly eyebrow, and she asked, “So, what’dya say, Sanji?”

Sanji’s brain recovered quickly. Nami wanting to fuck him was a shock, but the moment he processed what a good deal was offered to him, he knew it’d be completely moronic to refuse. It was a win-win; Nami was happy when she was in control and Sanji was happy to let her take the reins. 

“Mm, **fuck…** Yeah, please do.”

This time she kissed him on the lips, slipping her tongue inside his mouth while she slid in carefully, the gentleness a far cry from her usual behavior. He wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. He reveled in the moment, taking deep breaths full of her sweet smell.

“You’re so kind and gentle, Nami-swan,” he said quietly into her ear. She laughed. 

“I’m only fucking you like this cuz those two…” 

She pointed to Zoro and Luffy who were fucking around like a pair of doofuses. Luffy’s hands couldn’t seem to stay in one place, so while Zoro was trying to put on a condom, Luffy was busy laughing and causing chaos. He pinched Zoro’s nipples, tugged his hair, and dug his nails into his back, but none of the actions lasted long enough for any progress to be made on his side of things. 

Zoro, on the other hand, was trying to prep Luffy. He had that trademark cute semi-smile on his face as he tried to stop his captain from moving around and biting him so much. Once Zoro started rubbing Luffy’s prostate and jerking him off however, Luffy stopped laughing. His hands were still interested in everything Zoro but now he was too busy moaning to laugh. 

“...Aren’t exactly good at paying attention to the finer details.”

Sanji chuckled and agreed, leisurely enjoying Nami’s slow pace. Nami placed small, featherlight kisses on his face, chest, and neck. Although he was nervous at first, he found himself relaxing as Nami sweetly cherished him. 

_She’s lying; she’s being way too affectionate and tender to be doing this because she feels obligated to. I’m glad she’s doing it like this for me but I can’t help it… I just really want--_

“More,” Sanji mumbled, hands tangled in Nami’s soft, orange locks. His meager command made her smile, and she replied with giving him more kisses, slowly travelling down from his chin to his chest. She gently found his hands, holding them in her own. 

“I’ll give you more, don’t worry,” she said before pulling out completely, and laying down. She beckoned him over, grabbing him by the hair and whispering an order in his ear. “Ride me.”

He nodded, positioning himself above her and gently lowering himself onto her strap-on. He squeezed his eyes shut, panting and taking a moment to adjust. _It’s so much deeper_ , he thought, hunching over and hanging his head. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, just adjusting to the new position.

“Come on, Sanji, get to it,” Nami said, snapping him out of his daze. He nodded again, lifting himself up and slamming himself back down. He managed to maintain a relatively consistent pace, although his inexperience was still painfully obvious. Nami, taking pity on him, grabbed his hips and started thrusting up, creating a steadier pace for him to follow and dragging him back into it whenever he lost his rhythm. 

She got a slight bit rougher, smiling when she noticed that Sanji seemed to like it. “Fuck, Nami-san,” he moaned, his hips stuttering slightly. “It feels good,” he keened, making her chuckle a bit. 

“Yeah, I think so, too,” she moaned, rolling her hips. “You know what will make it feel even better? If you touch yourself.” 

He immediately took her up on her suggestion, eager to feel even better than he already was. He pinched his nipples and rubbed his clit, gasping and cursing under his breath. When he shut his eyes again, he let out a loud and obscene moan. _Fucking shit_ , he thought. _Holy fuck, it all sounds so_ **_loud_** _._

With his eyes shut, it almost felt like Zoro and Luffy’s moans were right in his ear. The wet sounds of them fucking made him shiver. “N-Nami-san,” he said, stuttering and slurring his words together a bit. “It’s t-too much. I’m gonna cum.”

“Attaboy,” Nami said, still thrusting into him. “Now go ahead and cum sweetly for me.”

Sanji quickly opened his eyes, wanting to confirm that this wasn’t a dream, as cliche as it sounded. The instant he saw the three of them, the reality of this happening hit him like a truck, and he came. He gasped out their names, receiving a choked reply of his own name from them. When he heard that, he twitched violently, sharp waves of pleasure washing over him. 

Nami was close too and rode him through his high, her nails digging into his hips painfully when she came. She sighed, movements coming to a halt to give them both a chance to cooldown. When the feeling subsided, Sanji slumped over, resting his face on Nami’s chest. The both of them watched as Luffy and Zoro followed shortly after, the duo aggressively tugging on each other’s hair when they came. 

Nami and Zoro pulled out, leaving Luffy and Sanji to roll off them to find their own spot to lay on the ground. It was silent for a long while, all of them trying to catch their breath. Nami spoke up first, telling Zoro to get the towel she’d brought in her bag for the four of them to clean up with. 

“You were awfully prepared,” Zoro commented, throwing away the used condom and handing the towel to her and Sanji after he and Luffy wiped themselves down. 

“Yeah,” she said. “Just like you three, I’ve been waiting a long time for this. I’m just better at hiding it.” 

Sanji lazily crawled over to his bed, tugging off a blanket, and the four of them cuddled under it. “I can’t believe we waited this long when we all wanted it,” he asked.

“Yeah,” Luffy replied with a light laugh.

“All that matters is that we did it, though,” Zoro said, eliciting mumbles of agreement from the other three. He was the quickest to adjust to the calmer mood. He let out a long, tired yawn, and the conversation died there. Despite laying on the cold, hard floor, they snuggled together, three of them comfortably falling into a deep sleep. 

Right before he nodded off, Sanji briefly had to thank that woman who used her fruit on him. He wasn’t sure if he learned the lesson she’d wanted him to, and he'd probably never know what it was that she wanted him to get out of this experience in the first place. What he did learn, however, was that he’d been dancing around his feelings toward Zoro, Luffy, and Nami like a fool, and her ability finally brought an end to all that.

If he had a serious complaint, it would have to be that he essentially wasted too many berries on clothes he couldn’t wear anymore, which was a damn shame.

 _Maybe, just maybe, I’ll keep them as memorabilia_ , he mused. _Memorabilia of the absolutely fucking ludicrious event that led to our relationship._ … _Yeah, that’s a good idea,_ he thought happily, before falling into a calm, deep sleep, comfortably snuggled up against his new significant others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a looot longer than the other chapters. Tbh idk abt smut. I enjoy it as a cute little "romantic/feels-y sex," type thing, but idk I definitely feel like it's a weird/awkward experience writing it. Either way, this is the last chapter (yay!) I was kinda straining to finish the fic by the time I got here, so please forgive me, for my attention span is very low. I'm also writing another OP fanfic (it'll be LuZoLaSan bc how could I not?) soooo yeah! Tysm for your patience and for finishing my fanfic!


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